Satellites
by PJ XD
Summary: Nessie Cullen made a slight faux pas on her birthday, one that might end up affecting her relationship with her best friend Jacob forever, though maybe not in the way she thinks... But with trouble brewing in Italy, will she get a chance to explore all the new possibilities that have suddenly opened up to her? Jake/Nessie, Canon. T for language and some sexual references.
1. The Damn Birthday Dress

**_A/N; So I've started this new fic to go along with the new HP one I'm writing. They're of absolutely no relation, but I like doing things in twos. Noah had the right idea, it's much more efficient. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! _  
**

**_Also, this will be dual POV, as with most of my fics. Nessie and Jake, obviously. _**

**_PJ x_**

* * *

**Nessie**

"But it's not fair, Edward!"

Alice's whining voice – though could it really be called whining if it sounds like music? – was the first sound I awoke to on the morning of my seventh birthday. I frowned.

It's not that I wasn't used to my aunt's constant bitching at my dad (usually about his recent and frustrating desire to see me going to school dressed like a nun), but it was definitely odd for it to be going on this early in the morning. Curious as hell, I swung my feet from my bed and hopped to the floor with the lightest of thuds.

Still trying to be stealthy, I tiptoed across the room and cracked open my bedroom door, peeking out through the crack. My first thought was – _huh?_

Alice was standing in the middle of the hallway, tiny hands propped on her skinny hips, pixie face screwed up in irritation. Jasper was, as always, less than a shadow-length behind her, but he looked much more amused than annoyed. My dad was facing her, his arms folded firmly across his chest in what I knew full well was his 'not an icicle's chance in hell' pose.

But that wasn't the weird part. No, the weird part was that Jake was standing beside Dad, his jaw clenched and his hands balled into fists.

Okay, now, Jake's my best friend, and my mom's friend, too, and maybe even kinda-sorta friends with my dad when the mood suits him, but in an Edward-versus-Alice showdown, he is always, _always_, Team Alice. Probably because he knows it winds Dad up – annoying him comes a close second to annoying Rose in Jake's 'favourite ways to kill time until Nessie wakes up'.

Yet there he was, very obviously supporting my dad in whatever argument was going down. If I had bothered to look out my window, would there be a sudden herd of flying pigs on the horizon?

"You're being unreasonable!" Alice pouted as I watched, making her look waaaaaay younger than her hundred-odd years. Hell, she suddenly looked way younger than her physical nineteen. Jazz grinned at her like she was an adorable toddler throwing a hissy fit. I couldn't see Dad's face, but if I had to put money on it, I'd guess he was scowling.

"I am not. I'm just putting my foot down." Yep, that was his frowny-voice. (As I'd called it when I was younger, much to Mom and Jacob's amusement).

"But it's just a dress!" she protested. "I don't see what there is to put your foot down about!"

"It's just a… Alice, it's a birthday party, not an interview for a pole-dancing job!"

Ah, I should've known this would be about Alice's latest dress for me. They had the same argument every week, I swear…

It bugged me that Dad was so overprotective about my clothing. I mean, Alice buys couture, not corsets and fishnet tights. Mom says he's just a bit old fashioned. Alice says he's a prude.

As usual, me and my aunt are on the same page.

"Don't be such a prude," she huffed, bizarrely echoing my thoughts. "It's fashionable."

"It's too short!"

"It's not indecent!"

I sighed to myself, and was just contemplating snuggling back up under my duvet when Jacob's voice joined the debate.

"Hell yes, it's indecent!"

I froze. Jake was never one to try and tell me what to do, or say, or think, or _wear_. What was he playing at? I put my eye back to the crack in the door, narrowing my gaze in his direction. His arms were crossed over his bare chest now, mirroring my dad's posture.

"Don't start with me, Jake!" Alice hissed. "We all know why _you've_ got an objection, and it's not because you don't think…"

"Shut up, Alice!" Jake snapped. Was it just me, or was there an edge of panic in his voice? "Nessie might hear you!"

"She's asleep," Alice dismissed with an airy wave of her hand. "Back to the issue."

I waited for my father to correct her, to tell her that I was actually listening at the door, but no correction came. I frowned, wondering why he wasn't ratting me out, when I caught a glimpse of my mom, standing a few feet from Alice in the doorway to Carlisle's study. Her ochre eyes met mine for a second, and she raised her index finger to tap at her temple, shooting me a wink.

She'd put up a no-eavesdropping zone around me. I could've run out of my room and kissed her, but that would have meant exposing the fact that I'd been listening in on the debate and completely defeating the object of the mental barrier. Can you say 'awkward spyfail'?

So, instead, I stayed put, using my newfound privacy to chew over everything they were saying.

"That dress is…" Jacob seemed at a loss as to how to describe it, so instead of words, he just threw up his huge hands in exasperation.

"Inappropriate," Dad finished in a clipped, terse tone.

"It's completely appropriate. Not to mention gorgeous! Nessie will look like any other eighteen year old girl on her birthday, only about twenty times as stunning."

"She's not eighteen," Dad growled.

"She looks it."

"She's seven!" Wow, a Dad-and-Jacob chorus. There must have been something really different about that dress. I felt a slight spark of irritation flare to life in my chest as I watched Jake. I was hardly a normal seven-year-old, but the way he said it… it made me seem like a little girl. I expected the babying from my dad, that was his job, but Jake…

Well, it just plain ol' sucked.

Deciding that the lull in the argument would be as good a time as any to make an appearance, I pushed open my door the whole way and stepped out onto the cream carpet.

"Morning," I mumbled, perfecting my I-only-just-woke-up tone. I rubbed my eyes for good measure. They totally bought it – everyone hastily arranged their faces into calm, sunny expressions.

Either I was a good reader, or they were terrible actors.

"Morning, sweetheart," Dad beamed at me, rushing to my side with inhuman speed to plant a kiss on the top of my long, bronze curls. "Happy birthday!"

Alice bounced up to me next, hurling herself into my arms as she trilled, "Happy birthday, Nessie!"

I patted her back for a second before she released me. Jasper pulled me into a hug straight after. "You're making me feel old," he accused in his warm honey-voice. I laughed into his shoulder.

"Please, Jazz, you _are_ old. But you're wearing well. What's your secret? Botox?"

He chuckled deep in his throat and stood back to appraise me, humour dancing in his irises. "No, O positive."

I grinned. Out of all my relatives, Jasper was secretly my favourite. I loved them all, of course, for each of their many quirks, but Jazz was pretty much the only member of my family who truly _got_ me.

Except Jake, but he didn't really count in the same way. He was much more friend than family, these days.

Speaking of Jake… he was the only one still standing where he had been during the argument, his hands shoved into the pockets of his denim cut offs, and a sheepish sort of smile plastered across his face. He looked… nervous, maybe? Nah, guilty was more like it. He didn't have to be able to read my mind to know I'd been listening.

"Happy birthday, Ness," he whispered, and his smile blossomed from tentative to full-on megawatt grin. He opened his arms, and I stepped into his embrace without hesitation, momentarily forgetting that I was supposed to be pissed at him for acting like an overprotective parent.

He squeezed me tightly, and I inhaled his woodsy, earthy smell that for some reason made normal vampires wince. His skin was warm, just like mine – we were the only matched set in a house full of walking ice sculptures.

Still, I think I'd trade my warm skin and pulse for the ability to sparkle in the sunlight.

Not that I'd ever admit that to Jacob.

Mom was there a second after Jake had let me go, but instead of hugging me, she leant forward and pressed her lips to my forehead like she had every night when I was little. "It feels strange to say, but you're an adult now, Renesmee."

I smiled at her words. She seemed to be the half of the parenting duo that didn't treat me like a child all the time, and I was beyond grateful.

"Thanks, Mom," I whispered, thanking her for both her words and her mental barrier. She shot me another wink.

"No problem."

I rounded on my dad, summoning my best win-you-over smile. "I take it we're waiting for Carlisle, Rose, Esme and Emmett to get back before we do presents, but I'd really like to see my birthday dress."

Alice clapped her hands in satisfaction. Dad had no idea I had heard the entire exchange – thank you, Mom – but his face crumpled into a frown anyway.

I felt, rather than heard, Jasper's laugh as he tasted my wry mood and realised I already knew.

"Nessie, before you get all excited…" Dad began.

"Dad, I at least want to try it on before you go all parental on me. If you don't approve once it's on, I can wear something else."

Jake snorted, clearly expecting my response. I'd confessed to him before that being logical was the only way to win a battle with my dad, and once I'd gotten what I wanted, I simply refused to give it back. His dark eyes were gleaming with challenge as he regarded me.

"You do know that if she tries it on and you don't like it, she still won't change, right?" he told Dad quietly.

"Humph," Dad grunted. I glared at Jacob and mouthed 'traitor'.

He merely grinned smugly back at me.

"I think Nessie has the right to try it on," Alice piped up.

"Of course you do," Dad sighed. He was all set to say 'no way, Jose,' when my mom quirked one eyebrow at him, a rueful expression on her face. I watched, amazed, as he caved like a day-old flan. "Oh, fine."

I gaped at Mom in unflattering disbelief. "You need to teach me how to do that," I muttered.

She laughed her pealing bell-laugh, and ushered me along the hallway after Alice's already retreating back.

The dress was hanging on the back of Alice and Jasper's door. She unzipped the garment bag with a flourish the second I stepped into the room.

Whoa.

It was short. But classy short, not slutty short. No, the thing that was obviously bothering my father about this dress was the fact that it was made entirely of white lace, with a sheer sort of material underneath that probably looked amazing and shimmery in the sunlight.

If I wore that, I'd look like I sparkled, too.

I grinned widely at Alice, feeling a deep rush of affection for her. "It's gorgeous!"

"Yep, I knew you'd love it. Bella helped me pick it out."

I turned to my mom with a look of shock. She wasn't exactly fashion conscious, and she loathed shopping. She gave me a wide smile, a knowing look in her eye – she'd picked it because I'd shine in it, I was positive.

"If you picked it, why is Dad freaking?" I muttered to her.

Mom's perfect face twisted into a smirk that instantly made her look more like me. "Because that's what he does best, Nessie."

I laughed, and spun back towards Alice. She knew what I wanted without even needing to ask. Her tiny hand whipped the dress from the hanger as she steered me to the mirror. For a moment I was blinded by my pyjama top, and then she'd yanked it over my head and replaced it with the dress.

We all gawked in the mirror at my reflection in stunned silence.

I looked… wow. Just wow. It clung to my body like a second skin, and threw off little sparkles every time I moved. It somehow made my skin seem paler and my cheeks even rosier than before.

"You look amazing," Mom whispered. I glanced at her to see that she was trying not to cry. A small giggle bubbled out of my throat.

Dad, Jasper and Jake had joined us in the room. Jazz grinned at me, tipping his head in a very old-fashioned gentlemanly way. Dad looked torn between wanting to roll his eyes and wanting to smile. He split the difference by tutting loudly and then sighing in defeat.

My eyes found Jake, expecting much the same reaction. Instead, I felt a little thrill of surprise as I took in his expression.

He looked like someone had just clubbed him over the head. His dark eyes were twice the size they should have been, and his mouth was hanging open in that gormless way it does when he's stunned into silence.

"Well, what do you think?" I spread my arms and twirled for him, once.

He didn't speak, just blinked at me.

I was suddenly self-conscious. I crossed my arms over my chest, my brow wrinkling in confusion. Everyone in the room seemed to be holding their breath. Until Dad growled, low and scary.

I jumped, taken aback, and opened my mouth to start yelling at him to stop being so overprotective, but the words died on my lips when I noticed that he wasn't growling at me.

He was growling at Jacob.

Jake's eyes slid over to my dad, and he seemed to instantly recover himself. He cringed away from Dad's anger and fixed an unconvincing smile onto his face as he looked my way again. "Sorry. Uh, yeah, Ness, I guess it's alright…"

Then, he shrugged. He fucking _shrugged_.

Anger rippled through me, followed by a sudden wave of crushing, hopeless rejection.

Rejection? That's not right. I had nothing to feel rejected about. Pissed, definitely, but not rejected. So why did I suddenly feel as though Jacob had just staked me through the heart?

I was beyond confused at my own reaction, but everyone was staring at me, waiting for me to say something, so I focused on plastering a grin across my face.

"I'm going to go and get ready properly. See you all downstairs?"

There were five nods in response, and I tore my way out of the room, struggling to control the bitter disappointment that seemed to be intensifying with every heartbeat. I made it to the bathroom uninterrupted, and then barricaded myself in, slumping against the door in my brand new dress.

What was _wrong_ with me? I'd been perfectly happy until a minute ago. I'd never cared about Jacob's 'whatever' comments on my clothes before, so why now? Why today?

_Maybe it's because you thought that he liked it,_ I thought. But that had never bothered me before, Jacob wouldn't know fashion if Kurt Lagerfeld himself came up and bitch-slapped him in the face.

_Or maybe… _A little voice inside my head whispered. _Maybe it's because you thought he was looking at you in a whole new light…_

That thought brought me up short.

Jacob was mine, sure, but in a totally platonic way. Like, I called dibs on him for the rest of my life – forever, essentially – but did that mean I wanted more from him than a constant BFF? Did I _want_ Jake to think of me in a different way?

_Yes._ That traitorous voice piped up. _Otherwise you wouldn't have cared if he thought you looked pretty in the dress. _

But I didn't think of Jake that way! Did I? I mean, I'd always objectively seen him as attractive – I've got eyes, there's no denying he's hot – but I'd never wanted to kiss him or anything close, so…

A sudden image intruded on my thoughts. It was an image of me kissing Jacob. I was shocked by the instant increase in the tempo of my heart.

_Okay, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything…_

Instead, I thought of another image. Jacob kissing some random girl.

Rage. White-hot rage. That was my instant reaction to the thought. But it wasn't just rage. It was rage, and sadness, and annoyance, and…

Crap!

It was jealousy.

Crap! Crap! Crap!

My breathing was twice as fast as it usually was, my heart pounding. I felt like my head was going to spiral off into another dimension.

I liked Jacob. I _like_ liked him.

Well, I didn't see that one coming.

A soft knock on the door made me jump. "Ness?"

_It's him! Ohshitohshitohshitohshit! What do I do? Stay calm, Renesmee, it's just Jacob. He's still the same person he was five minutes ago. Just be cool. _I chanted to myself.

I sucked in a deep breath, frantically trying to control my haywire pulse. "What's up, Jake?"

Relief flooded through me when I miraculously managed to sound normal.

"Are you actually gunna shower? There's a queue forming out here." He sounded just as normal as he always did, so why did his deep, rumbling voice suddenly make me feel warm all over?

"We have three bathrooms," I reminded him, a slight tremor in my words.

He paused, and I thought I heard him chuckle. "Okay, I'm lying, but you've been in there a while and I haven't heard any running water."

A while? How long had I been sitting on the floor? I checked my watch and struggled to swallow a gasp of surprise – fifteen minutes?!

The bathroom door opened slowly, pushing me along the cold tile. I slid out of the way without really thinking about it, and a second later Jacob was kneeling on the floor in front of me, his russet brow creased in concern.

"Ness, what's the matter?"

I wasn't concentrating on his question. I was staring at him like I'd never seen him before in my life, my stomach rolling over and over on itself as though someone had just made me eat ice cream (again). He looked just like he always did – short ebony hair, smooth russet skin stretched over impressive muscles, dark eyes so deep it looked like you could see right into his thoughts. Except to me, he looked like a whole new person.

I could only gape at him.

Jacob's worried look intensified. "Ness, seriously, what's wrong?"

"I… I don't know," I managed to mumble, feeling the colour rising in my cheeks. Assuming I was just having difficulty articulating the problem, he offered one hand to me, palm up, so that I could show him what I was feeling.

For the first time in my whole life, I refused.

"Nessie…" Was that really Jake's voice? He sounded so scared and timid. "Have I done something?"

"No, I…" I didn't complete my sentence. Instead, I just buried my face in my hands. There was a couple of seconds of tense silence, but I could tell Jacob was struggling not to break it. He didn't struggle for long, though.

"You're scaring me," he murmured. "Please talk to me."

My head whipped up, surprised by the sudden gentleness of his tone. Usually Jake would just look at me with puppy dog eyes or a goofy grin and prod and poke me until I caved in and spoke to him. He seemed different. Older, more mature. Or maybe that was just me.

"Jake, really, it's not you, it's me."

It's not you, it's me? Had I really just said that out loud? I watched his face twist into a grimace. "Did you really just say that?" he echoed my thoughts.

"Lame, right?" I grinned, a weak attempt to lighten the mood and get him to forget about it. He didn't, of course. That would've been too easy.

"So, what's you and not me, then?"

I sighed. "Jake, let it go. I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine," he contradicted. Why wouldn't he just let it go? There was no way I was going to suddenly confess that I had the hots for him. I didn't really feel like dying of humiliation on my birthday. But he had to behave like a stupid dog with a bone! Jeez, was he always so intrusive and annoying?

"Yeah, but it never usually bothers you." Oops. I guess I said that last part out loud.

"Jake, I'm really fine." I smiled widely at him, hoping it looked authentic. "Maybe I'm just freaked about getting old."

"You aren't ever going to get any older than how old you are right now, Ness, so I think it's a bit pointless to worry about wrinkles," he joked lightly. I frowned as what he said sunk in. Of course, I knew I'd stop aging once I reached maturity, but it had never occurred to me that I'd reach it so soon. So, this was it?

I stood up and stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, examining myself the way I never had before. I looked just like I had the last time I checked – same pink cheeks and ivory skin, same big, deer-in-the-headlights brown eyes, same unruly copper curls tumbling down to the bottom of my ribcage. I supposed I was pretty, and I definitely looked about the same age as my parents – too weird to even think about – but I didn't feel grown up. I didn't feel _done_.

I raised one pale hand to touch reflection-me's face.

"What?" Jake breathed, and suddenly he was standing right behind me, so close I could feel his heart beating through the thin fabric of my dress. He wasn't wearing a shirt, like always, which made his hulking presence impossibly distracting now. I appraised the way our reflections looked together. Light and dark. Huge and dainty. We were opposites, but in a really, really good way. We looked perfect together.

Did Jake see that, too?

No. He still thought of me as just Nessie, of course. It was me that was having a sudden and unwelcome epiphany about his place in my life.

Abruptly, I wondered why my dad hadn't burst into the bathroom, all 'What the hell, Renesmee, what are you thinking? Get to your room right now!' when it occurred to me that Mom was probably still keeping me quiet. Maybe she was going to do it for the whole day – a birthday of inner privacy. Really, especially considering the alarming road my thoughts were now travelling, that would be the best present I could ask for.

"What're you thinking?" Jake murmured, his lips so close to my ear that his breath tickled my neck. I shivered involuntarily, feeling my cheeks flush again. Jacob clocked my blush in the mirror and grinned. "Okay, now you definitely have to tell me."

I rounded on him, but he didn't move backwards. With his hands braced on either side of the sink, he formed a werewolf cage around me, and there was barely three inches between his chest and mine. I had to consciously make an effort not to start hyperventilating.

Ah, hell! This was going to get awkward and uncomfortable, and fast.

"It's nothing," I said shakily.

"Renesmee…" he wheedled, sticking out his bottom lip in an imitation of me whenever I wanted something. I laughed breathily.

"Jake, stop being so nosy," I chided, my voice about four octaves higher than it normally was. His eyebrows went up, but there was a teasing light in his eyes. Normally, that would piss me off. Today, it made me feel so flushed I wouldn't have been surprised if I'd spontaneously combusted.

Shiiiiiiit.

"C'mon, tell me!" he whined, prodding me in the side. I doubled over, giggling like an idiot. He knew how ticklish I was, so his grin became more pronounced. I squealed like a stuck pig as he started a full-on tickle assault.

I was trying very hard not to think about his hands on me, and how good it felt. Putting up my mental barriers took effort, but I managed. It helped that I was actively focusing on the weirdly good-but-painful sensation of being tickled until your ribs are sore from laughing. I was completely taken aback when Jake suddenly quit and settled with one hand on my waist.

My hands were still gripping his biceps, trying futilely to pull him off me, but when I was finally given a chance to breathe, my guard was well and truly down. So down, in fact, that when his hands gripped my hips in an attempt to calm me down, I thought the first thing that popped into my head.

_He could easily pick me up and if I wrapped my legs around his waist then it would be the perfect position for…_

I broke off before it could get too x-rated, thank God, but it was too late. I could see by the look of utter disbelief on Jake's face that he'd heard enough to know where I was going with that.

Mortified, I snatched my hands back, bringing one up to cover my mouth. I could not believe I had just been that stupid. Embarrassed tears sprung up in my eyes, and I turned my face away, like if I could hide my eyes then it could all just be forgotten.

Like a little kid.

I heard Jake swallow. Gulp was more like it.

Oh ground, please open up and swallow me whole. There could only have been one thing worse than Jake hearing what I'd been thinking, and that would be my dad hearing what I'd been thinking.

Ohmygod! If Jake had heard it in his head, then Dad would have heard it too!

As if Jake could still hear my thoughts, he whispered to me, "Don't freak. Bella's blocking me, too." His voice was low and faint, like he might pass out.

I sneaked a glance at him, and fought a bizarre urge to laugh. There's him telling me not to freak out, and Jake looked like he was about to be elected mayor of Crazy Town. His eyes were so wide it looked like they might actually fall out of their sockets, and his cheeks were definitely redder than usual.

It would have been funny, had I not been so completely humiliated.

"Jake, I'm sorry," I mumbled, feeling my face heat up by about a million degrees. "This won't ruin our friendship, will it? I mean, you can just forget I ever thought anything, right?" I peered anxiously up at him through my lashes, fretting.

The strangest expression crossed his face, and then he was himself again. "Sure, Nessie. We can forget about it."

He didn't sound remotely reassuring. Oh, please let me not have screwed up our friendship…

"You promise?"

"I promise." He sounded a little more sure that time. He gave me a tight smile, and planted a kiss on top of my head that immediately set my stomach aflutter. "You should get ready, though, because the others will be back soon."

I nodded, mute and shamefaced.

Jake high-tailed it from the bathroom like there was a loan shark chasing him. I leaned back against the sink, shaking like I'd just emerged from an arctic lake.

_At least he didn't laugh at you,_ my inner voice told me.

But, really, if that was the best that could be said, it didn't say much, did it? I let out a great huff of air, trying to get my breathing back to normal. Mom was shielding me today, and shielding Jake, too, for some lucky reason, so I was fine. I was not going to get skinned alive by my father.

There was another soft knock on the door, and this time I saw a honey-blond head poking around it. I breathed a sigh of relief. Jasper. Someone who was always easy and uncomplicated.

"Are you alright, Nessie? I'm sensing some serious teenage angst coming from this room?" His tone was light, but his eyes were serious.

Shit. Jasper was sensing my mood! He'd sensed everything!

"I – I'm fine, Jasper."

His raised eyebrows told me he didn't buy that for a second. "If you want to talk about it, Ness, you know where to find me. And you should know, I'm pretty good at keeping my thoughts to myself, too."

For a second, I wanted to run into his arms and spill my guts about my new and confusing maelstrom of emotions, but I fought the urge and shook my head tightly.

"No, Jazz, it's okay, but thanks."

"If you ever need to talk…" He smiled warmly, and just before he withdrew his head, he whispered, "I freaked out about Alice at first, too."

He did? Well, that made me feel better. Wait… but he and Alice were madly in love. Always had been. They were soulmates. Whereas me and Jacob – well, he was my best friend, and I was dealing with a massive case of unrequited crush syndrome.

On second thoughts, I didn't feel better in the slightest.

Happy friggin' birthday, Renesmee.


	2. Friends Don't Let Friends Run Drunk

**Jacob**

_Don't think about what just happened, don't think about what just happened, don't think about what just happened…_

Repeating the mantra to myself hasn't seemed to help any. Fuck! Why did I have to butt in and ask Nessie what was wrong with her? Why couldn't I have left it alone? Imprint or not, nothing in the world is worth this kind of emotional torture.

She was thinking about me. And her. And… I couldn't even bring myself to think the word. Fervently hoping nobody noticed the way I was fidgeting uncomfortably, I pulled up a stool at the breakfast bar and accepted the beer that Edward handed me. Thankfully, he was completely clueless.

I wouldn't be breathing if he wasn't.

Okay, so I noticed her first. Of course I did, I'm only human! Well, almost. Partly. Whatever. I mean, that dress Alice had gotten her… I was only kicking up such a fuss about it because I knew that the second Nessie put it on it would take every single shred of my already questionable willpower not to rip it off her.

Like I said, only human.

It shouldn't have been so fast. I should have had years to prepare for this moment. The sexually frustrated teenage boy inside of me was fist pumping and whooping with relief, but the more rational part of me was freaking the shit out. I could pinpoint the moment, exactly two months previously, when I first would have described Nessie as hot. Not perfect and beautiful and all the other descriptors that were completely harmless, but really, totally, holy-shit-I'm-having-trouble-controlling-my-saliva hot.

Cliff diving in La Push. That blue polka dot bikini thing she'd insisted on buying. All I could do was stare at her the entire time she'd been jumping about in the waves. It was when Seth had made a suggestive comment that I'd growled and practically torn his head clean off. Jealousy, apparently, like wine, just gets stronger with time. Nessie had thought I was just being overprotective. I hadn't had the courage to tell her that I'd been pissed off because I agreed with him, and it was _too soon_.

I mean, she didn't even know that I'd imprinted on her, for shit's sake! The one and only conversation we'd ever had about romance had been the very awkward and uncomfortable chat about my past feelings for her mom. That had been relatively short, and she'd accepted it fairly calmly. I'd felt like I'd dodged a bullet.

Now, after what almost happened in the bathroom… No. Wait. Nothing actually had happened. It was Nessie's thoughts. She'd thought about something happening…

I felt a sudden urge for a cold shower.

Edward, in my peripheral vision, laughed at something Bella was saying, and it pulled my focus for a second. Right, yeah. Overprotective vampire father. He would kill me. Literally rip out my intestines. Or worse… he might rip off something else below the belt to ensure Nessie's thoughts never actually took place.

I cringed at the thought, crossing my legs.

Nessie had asked me to forget about it. Except there was no way in hell that would ever happen. All I could do was think about it. Over and over and over…

Man, sometimes I really wished she could be an actual seven year old, and then I wouldn't have this problem.

"What's with you, dog?" Rosalie asked snappily, leaning against the counter beside me and pointedly wrinkling her nose at my scent. "You're acting weird." I jumped guiltily, then tried to cover it with a nonchalant sip of my beer.

"Hey, Rosalie, what do a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?" I raised my bottle to demonstrate. "They're both empty from the neck up."

"He seems fine to me," Emmett chortled as he strode into the room, ignoring Rosalie's glare and planting a loud kiss on her mouth.

"Can you two try to get along for Nessie's birthday, at least?" Esme piped up, from over by the stove, where she was putting the finishing touches onto an impressive birthday cake for Nessie. I didn't see the point myself – it wasn't like she'd ever eat it in a million years.

"What's the point in the cake, Esme?" I decided to go ahead and ask anyway. "You know Nessie doesn't eat people-food. She'd rather have something to suck on."

Eight pairs of gold eyes snapped to me instantly, and I could feel the heat from Edward's glare melting into the back of my head. Emmett was shaking with silent laughter. It took me a second to realise what I'd said. Shit! Rephrase! Rephrase! "I-I meant, she'd rather you got her a bag of B neg from the local blood bank." _Great, Jake, just great_. All that inner reflection made me stick my foot in my mouth, big time. Of course, I'd implied something that got me thinking…

_For fuck's sake, get it together!_

Bella was studying me out of the corner of her eye as everyone else breezed past the incident, and there was that look on her face, that 'I know what you're thinking' look. Man, I hoped not.

Where was Seth when I needed him?

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Nessie, happy birthday to you!" The chorus broke out all around me as Nessie entered the kitchen, and I, like the utter moron I was rapidly turning into, just sat there, mouth open like I was trying to catch flies.

Smooth, Jake.

Nessie looked amazing in that damn dress. Close to perfect as it was physically possible to be. It really didn't help my resolve. She danced into the room, acting as though she hadn't turned my world on it's head this morning, tossing her long bronze hair and smiling at everyone like she was strutting down a runway.

She was a damn sight nicer than any supermodel I'd ever seen.

Instead of focusing on that, I tried to look at her the way I used to. As a kid who was made up because it was her birthday. Tried and failed, within the first five seconds. Fact was, she was not a kid. Not anymore. She was gorgeous, and grown up, and… apparently into me.

Seriously, willpower? If you're out there, I need you. Stat.

Her chocolate eyes met mine, and her cheeks coloured a little before she could stop herself. I tried to fuse myself to my seat, convinced that it was the only way I could anchor myself down enough to not walk over there and kiss her.

I really, really hoped Bella would give me a heads up before she removed my little mental block. I needed to seriously check myself.

Nessie had thrown herself into a conversation with Rosalie, and I just watched her, thinking about all the ways I loved her other than this new, confusing emotion. I was pulled out of my reverie by Bella.

"Jake, you okay?"

_Oh, please don't be the concerned best friend! If only you knew…_ "I'm fine."

"That was about as convincing as Charlie's homemade lasagne," she told me, raising one eyebrow. I laughed, feeling a little of my tension ease. Charlie had been trying to convince Sue for months that he'd 'discovered how to make Italian food', when we all knew he was just ordering take out and putting it in a dish.

Bella, Seth and I found it funny. Even Leah did a little.

"Presents!" Alice demanded, thankfully cutting our conversation short before Bella could grill me. We all watched, completely diverted, as Nessie opened gift after lavish gift, squealing with joy at everything they had bought her. As usual, Rosalie had bought about ten presents. All of them were extortionate. Worth more than I'd make in twenty years.

Feeling inadequate? Me?

You betcha.

I sighed to myself. It wasn't like I'd ever had a hope in hell of outshining the bloodsuckers. They spent money like they'd only just discovered how to use an ATM.

Nessie never seemed to mind, though. It was a few minutes later – once she'd gotten Bella to help her put on the ginormous Tiffany's necklace Alice and Jasper had given her – that she sidled up to me. She seemed a little nervous.

She wasn't the only one.

"Jake, would you come for a walk with me?"

There was nothing unusual about us doing that, but for some reason I had to struggle to keep my voice neutral as I choked on sudden panic. "Yeah, sure thing."

I felt like everyone's eyes were on us as we walked from the house, or maybe that was just my guilty conscience.

Ness took off down the path like she was trying to outrun the wind. I chased after her, lagging about half a second behind. Damn, when did she get so fast? Must be latent talent from her father. He was fast, even for a leech.

She spun to face me as soon as we reached our usual clearing, and, of course, she started babbling, like she always does when she's nervous.

"Jake, listen, I know that what happened earlier was awkward and uncomfortable and weird, and I know you weren't expecting it – actually, come to think of it, I hadn't really been expecting it, either, it was kind of shocking to me, too – but I would really appreciate it if…"

"Ness," I interjected, trying to get a word in before she continued until next June.

"If you could not treat me any differently, or, you know, not get weird and try and avoid me, because honestly Jake, this is a small house, well, not really, but you get my point, right? And more than that, you're my best friend, and I…"

"Ness," I tried again, fighting to keep the smile out of my voice.

"Just a sec, anyway, like I was saying, you're my best friend, and I would hate it if things got weird between us because I'm a massive idiot and I've been acting like a complete, well, I can't even think of the word, but I'm pretty sure it's not flattering. Anyway, my mental incontinence really shouldn't be an issue, and if you could just forget…"

"Ness!" I yelled. Jeez, that girl didn't ever know when to shut up! She fell silent at my insistence, her teeth immediately sinking into her bottom lip as her brow creased.

"What?" she muttered, eyes downcast. Hell, I hated it when she did that. It made me feel like I'd just told her Christmas was cancelled. Unthinkingly, I slid my fingers under her chin and tilted her face up so that I could see her eyes. She blinked up at me, looking all tortured and innocent and sweet.

"I feel like shit because I haven't got you a good present," I blurted. She grinned instantly.

"You always get me the best present, even if it doesn't cost anything. And I know what I want this year."

Nessie and I have this game. Every year, on her birthday, I don't get her a present, and then she requests what it is she wants from me. Every year, it's something Edward would never approve of. Usually an activity. Last year, it was offroading. The year before that, it was a trip to the shooting range.

This year, I was terrified of what she wanted. As if part of me was expecting her to ask me to act out a page from the Karma Sutra.

It wasn't quite that shocking, though.

"Jake, I want to get drunk."

I was already laughing. "Ness, you can't get drunk. The vampire in you is like a talisman for sobriety."

"True…" she hedged, and then she fidgeted nervously. Okay, what did she know that I didn't? "Unless… well, Emmett told me about this one time he fed off this drunk guy, and, well…"

"His blood got him hammered," I guessed. Correctly. She flushed.

"Yeah."

"I'm not gonna let you eat a drunk guy," I told her flatly. She looked appropriately horrified at the thought.

"No! I don't want to kill anyone!"

"Then how are you gonna…?" Then it dawned on me. What she was really asking.

"You want me to get wasted so you can drink my blood for a buzz, don't you?" I whispered, my eyes widening.

Her blush was so obvious it looked like she was about to burst into flame. I could actually feel the heat coming from her cheeks. It was adorable. And also weird, and completely horror movie-esque.

"I used to bite you when I was little," she muttered defensively.

Okay, and maybe a little intriguing. Nessie drunk? I kinda wanted to see that for myself. Although that could get me into a whole mess of trouble…

"Alright," I found myself agreeing without actually making a conscious decision to say yes. Damn it!

Her face erupted into a huge grin. "Really?"

I put my hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at me. "If you promise – and I mean really, really, really promise not to tell a single living or undead soul about this."

Her response was instant. "I promise."

* * *

She snuck out of the house at midnight. Of course, it doesn't really count as sneaking out if your parents know that you're leaving, but I've never had the heart to tell her that. Thankfully, she hadn't thought about exactly what she was going to do, so I wasn't about to be dismembered and fed to a bunch of mountain lions. Yet.

I was waiting for her in the clearing, already halfway through my second bottle of tequila. I couldn't believe I was actually going to do this. It creeped me out no end. It was gross, and horrible, and way too Anne Rice for my liking.

But it was Nessie, and I physically couldn't say no to her. Especially when she got so few normal teenage experiences.

Not that me having to slice open a vein in order for her to be inebriated was in any way normal… but the ditching your 'rents to get drunk in the woods part? Been there.

She showed up still wearing that damn birthday dress. My stomach clenched painfully over how good she looked, but I shoved that thought to the back of my mind. I needed to focus on the task at hand. Let Nessie take a bite out of me. Ugh.

"Two bottles?" she breathed, when she flitted over to my side and sank to her knees on the grass. I nodded.

"Wolf metabolism, Ness."

"Has it kicked in yet?" she wondered. Her tone was clinical, like she was conducting some sort of scientific experiment. I looked into her deep brown eyes and grinned.

"I'm feeling kinda fuzzy." Actually, I was feeling more than kinda fuzzy. I had that warm, reckless feeling that can only come from booze.

"Okay, good." She licked her lips nervously, leaning in front of me. "I won't hurt you, will I?"

"Not much, I'm guessing. Plus, I heal quick. Try not to suck me dry though." I laughed, sounding a little on edge, even to my own ears.

Well, it was hardly surprising.

"Okay, so should I do it now?"

Best get it over with. "Yeah, go for it." I tilted my neck to one side and tried to pretend like I wasn't grossed out by what was about to happen. "Bon appétit."

She laughed breathily and leant forwards until her curls were tickling my nose. Slowly, she brought her face down to my neck. My breath hitched as I felt her lips graze the join between my neck and shoulder, then I gasped as her teeth sank through the skin.

Okay, ow!

Her response was instantaneous. The second my blood hit the back of her throat, she moaned, loud enough to make me break out in a hot sweat. She shifted her position, shuffling closer, until her chest was pressed flush against mine. I tried and failed not to lean into the contact. The sharp pain in my neck had quickly dulled to a throbbing sort of ache, and I was now electrically aware of her body pressed up against me. My arms fastened around her waist, and she hummed with satisfaction again as she drank from me. Her hand found my bare shoulder, and all of a sudden, I was assaulted by sensation that wasn't mine.

There were no words to her thoughts, just flavours of emotion. Hunger. Pleasure. Desire. It overwhelmed me, and I wasn't thinking straight. My fingers dug into her waist, and I buried my face in her hair, loving the total sensory overload.

Well, hell, when she used to bite me as a baby, it sure as shit was nothing like this!

After a few seconds, she broke free. I let out a ragged breath that I'd had no idea I'd been holding the second her mouth moved from my neck, but caught it again when I felt her tongue sweep over the cut. She was stopping the bleeding, I knew, but I couldn't ignore the thrill that went through me, the way my breathing was super shallow and my heart was racing.

Intense. But admittedly a little cool. Still creepy, though.

Nessie was totally breathless. She collapsed against my chest, seemingly forgetting about how awkward this morning had been.

"Head rush," she mumbled against my skin. I grinned. Me, friggin' too.

"You need to give it a minute before it kicks in," I panted, noticing that my words were slightly slurred. Huh. I guess I was kinda drunk.

We sat in companionable and not at all awkward silence for a few minutes, Nessie still half-lying in my lap, propped up against my chest. I listened as her breathing calmed down, and her heartbeat slowed. Maybe it was the numbing effect of the alcohol on her, because my heart still felt like it was trying to leap out of my damn throat.

"I'm already buzzing," she murmured, breaking the silence. "I feel like everything's all warm and swishy. Is this what being drunk normally feels like?"

I grinned into her hair. "Yeah, it is."

"Hey, Jake?"

"Mm?"

"Sorry about earlier, again."

All my muscles tensed, like my body was preparing to run away from the conversation that I really didn't want to have. My brain was a little foggy, though, so I didn't recognise the dangerous territory until we'd already crossed into it.

"It's okay," I told her softly. "Kind of flattering, actually."

I cringed as she stopped breathing. Kind of flattering? Way to put your foot in your mouth, Jake. Really excellent. Not to mention the biggest understatement of the century.

"Flattering?" her voice came out magnified, no doubt thanks to my alcohol infused blood sloshing around in her system. "Huh."

"You're pissed at me." It wasn't a question. I knew full well that she'd be pissed at that. Hell, if she'd said that to me, I'd be devastated. I'd thoughtlessly managed to injure something that she held very close to her – her pride.

"Well, I guess it must be flattering, having a kid with a crush follow you around all the time." We gasped in unison as we both realised what she'd said.

"You have a crush on me?" I said.

"I didn't mean that how it sounded," she hedged.

"Bullshit, Nessie. You always say what you mean, even when you're drunk."

I sensed her smile in the darkness. "How would you know? I've never been drunk before."

"Touche, kid."

"I'm not a kid!"

The words exploded from her like she hadn't consciously meant to say them, but when Nessie went nuclear, there was no stopping her. I fell back into the grass as she shoved me, hard, and sprang to her feet in a movement that was a little off balance for someone so graceful.

"Ness…"

"You know what? Screw you, Jacob! I thought that you were supposed to be my best friend, but it turns out that you think of me the exact same way that the rest of my family does, delicate little baby Renesmee, just a little kid, 'oh, bless her heart, isn't she so innocent and sweet?!' I mean, I thought you were different! You were the one person that never treated me like I was made of glass, or like I was a child, but I guess I was wrong about that!"

In a flash, she'd taken off running.

Shit. Nessie alone and drunk in the woods. Edward was actually going to murder me.

A heartbeat later, I followed her. I hadn't meant to call her a kid, I knew she hated that. The word was more of a reminder for me to keep it clean. She was just so damn temperamental sometimes…

Definitely her father's daughter.

"Nessie!" I called as I ran through the trees. I expected a response, even knowing how stubborn she could be. She wasn't stupid. She knew taking off into the woods alone would scare me shitless.

No, she wasn't stupid, but she was hurt and pissed.

On second thoughts, a response was probably the last thing I should have expected.

I ran faster, tracking her scent. It was weird, I could smell her, but I could smell a trace of my own blood as well. I kind of liked the way it was all mixed together.

I eventually found her sitting on the cliffs up by First Beach.

She was hunched over, staring out at the sea, and I didn't need to see her face to know that she'd been crying. The thought made my heart twist painfully. I hated it when she cried. It was even worse knowing that I'd been the cause of her tears.

"Go away, Jacob," she choked, when I sat down in the grass beside her.

"Nope. Never. You're stuck with me, Ness. For the rest of eternity. Best get used to it," I said lightly, trying to disguise the undertone of fervour in my words.

She made a strangled sort of noise, halfway between a laugh and a sob. "Why? Why don't you just take off? Go travel the world with Leah and get away from the stupid kid who's always bugging you."

I blinked at her, shocked. "Is that what you think? You think you bug me?"

Man, she'd gotten it so wrong. So completely and utterly wrong.

"I _know_ I do," she replied morosely.

I paused, examining her profile in the soft moonlight. She was unequivocally the most beautiful thing in the whole damn universe. The smartest. The funniest. She literally made my life worth living. How did she not know that?

"No offence, Nessie, but you're a total idiot."

She turned to me, anger flashing in her dark eyes. "Excuse me?"

"You're the most important person on the entire planet to me. You couldn't bug me if you tried. Okay, maybe you could, if you tried really hard, but I meant it when I said you were stuck with me."

Her face softened, but her eyes were still guarded. "I don't understand."

"Look," I took a deep, steeling breath, trying to work up the nerve to tell her what I had been putting off for the last seven years. "I need to make a confession."

"Oh?" She turned to face me fully, arms crossed tightly over her chest. Both her eyebrows were raised in expectation. "I'm listening."

"Okay…" Here goes nothing. "You know about imprinting, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, of course. The whole wolfy 'she's the centre of my entire universe' thing. Like Sam and Emily, or Rachel and Paul, or Quil and Claire, or Jared and Kim…" Here, she trailed off, her eyes widening in comprehension, though I knew she wouldn't believe it until I actually said the words.

I grinned at her sheepishly. "Well, yeah. So, I… um… sort of withheld the truth from you a little bit when I told you about all that. See, the thing is, me and you, well, me, mostly, I kind of… imprinted on you. When I first saw you. So, there's that." That was officially the lamest and least thought out explanation in the history of the world. Note to self, don't dish out any important revelations under the influence of two bottles of tequila.

"_You_ imprinted on _me_?"she murmured quietly. I nodded, watching, waiting for her reaction. She stayed frozen in shock for what seemed like forever. My lungs were cramping up because I'd been holding my breath for so long. "And you neglected to tell me this… why, exactly?"

I let out a painful breath. "Because I didn't want you to feel pressured into hanging around me. _I_ didn't want to bug _you_."

A ghost of a smile flitted across her face. "Let me get this straight – I've been freaking out for the whole day because I realised I have a crush on you, and you've been sitting on the information that we're pretty much a forgone conclusion without feeling the need to 'fess up? Wow, Jake, you're such an ass."

"I know," I replied apologetically. "I just didn't know the right way to tell you."

"Here's a hint," Nessie answered coolly. "_That_ probably wasn't it."

I grimaced. "Yeah, I know that, too."

"You really are a complete and total dick, Jacob Black," she breathed, but I felt a huge surge of relief when I saw that she was grinning. "So… my accidental show and tell earlier didn't really freak you out?"

I couldn't help but grin back at her. "Oh, no, it totally freaked me out. Just 'cause I was there already didn't mean I knew that you were. Or if you ever would be. I ended up having a massive anxiety attack."

She rolled her eyes. "You're an idiot." Nessie's way of saying 'I love you' to most people. "Wait… already there? So you like me, too?"

My eyebrows shot up almost into my hairline. "Well, duh!"

She giggled, and I sighed with relief. I saw a blush begin to creep up her cheeks, and she started unconsciously ripping up the grass at her feet. "How long?"

"How long what?"

"Have you felt… different… about me?"

"Not that long. Only a couple of months. I tried not to. Hell, I tried to force myself to still see you as a kid, but that didn't really work out so well." I shrugged. "Your dad wanted to flay me alive when he realised I'd started thinking you were hot."

"You think I'm hot?" Her cheeks flushed, and her grin widened. Now, it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"Uh, hello? Have you looked in the mirror lately? You'd be hard pushed to find someone who doesn't."

"You really think?" Fragile insecurity saturated her tone, and I realised that, even knowing all that she now knew, she was still afraid of rejection. I sighed. Apparently I had a lot to answer for.

"Hell, yeah. Ask Seth, if you don't believe me. Actually, on second thought, please don't. I love the kid, but that doesn't mean I don't want to rip his head off when he thinks about you like that."

She smirked, her bad mood suddenly lifting. "What's the matter, Jake, are you jealous?"

I smiled a little bashfully. "Um, you could say that."

"Seth's cute and all," she started. I felt the growl rumble in my throat before she'd even finished her sentence, unable to stop myself. A delighted giggle escaped her mouth in response. "_But_," she emphasised. "I've got my eye on someone else, unfortunately for him."

"You do?" It was my turn to grin like an idiot.

"Yeah," she replied in a coy sort of way. "I mean, Nahuel told me to give him a call if I ever fancied a trip to the Amazon…"

I snarled, and she laughed again. A second later, she'd pushed me over in the grass.

"I'm kidding, Jake! Yeesh! Stop being such a jealous boyfriend!"

That word brought me up short. I stopped breathing. "Boyfriend?"

Nessie stared down at her lap, her fingers resuming tearing the grass to shreds. "Um, I… it just sort of came out… I didn't…"

I sighed theatrically and pushed myself upright. "Will you stop panicking? I was just curious about the word is all. Interesting phrasing."

She glanced up at me and I waggled my eyebrows at her, which earned me a punch to the shoulder. "Stop mocking me," she grumbled.

"Me, mock you? I would never!" I joked, pretending to be outraged at the thought.

"Jerk," she muttered, making me bark out a laugh.

"Hey, Ness…" I whispered once I'd recovered. "This doesn't freak you out at all?"

"Why would it?" she frowned.

"I dunno… it's just all pretty intense. And maybe a little creepy," I admitted. "I mean, me being tethered to you for the rest of my existence."

She raised one eyebrow at me. "Riiiiight. You're asking the girl who just sucked your blood in order to get trashed if she's freaked out by intense and creepy? Know your audience, Jake."

I chuckled again. The girl had a point. "Okay, point taken."

She looked out at the horizon and sighed. "Sun's going to be coming up soon. I don't know about you, but I could use a nap."

I followed her gaze to see the beginnings of a pink tinge to the deep purple sky. "Huh. You're right. We'd best get you home, then."

I stood and offered her my hand. The alcohol had completely worn off by that point – I felt completely in control again, and happier than I had in ages, like a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Nessie grinned at me as I pulled her onto her feet, and it seemed like she looked a bit more chipper as well.

"Race you back to the house?" she challenged, dropping my hand and bracing herself for a run.

"Okay, on three. One, two…"

She sped off before I'd finished the countdown. "Three!" she called, her voice drifting back to me on the breeze. I huffed, not really as annoyed as I pretended I was. She always cheated.

Wondering if I'd just made our lives a bit simpler or exponentially more complicated, I took off into the trees. Hell, if things got complicated from here on out, I was ready to face the music.

After all, when you'd follow someone into the pits of hell, following them home is a cake walk.

* * *

_**A/N : So, is the blood drinking thing creepy? I think it is a little, but hey, she's half-vampire. Pretty sure the pack will be more than a little grossed out by it though... **_

_**Thanks for reading!**_

_**PJ**_

_**x**_


	3. Phonecalls and Privacy

**Nessie**

I had Jake beat until we reached the river by my house. He was hot on my heels, and just as I braced myself to gage my jump, I heard a ripping sound that made me spin around. Before I even registered what I was seeing, a huge mountain of fur leaped over my head, landing with all four paws on the other side of the river bank.

Cheat! He'd phased to distract me.

"Doesn't count!" I yelled as I flung myself into a flat spin over the river and landed, with deliberate precision, on Jake's back. He absorbed the impact without so much as a shudder, and I slid off his silky fur, reluctantly impressed. Damn, he was stronger than I'd thought.

I swatted at his muzzle, which earned me a playful growl in response, and he jerked his head at me, making a swivelling motion.

_Turn around._ I obeyed the command, heart in my mouth, assuming that my dad was standing behind me. Even if Jake had been the one who suggested that I 'sneak out' in order to get drunk, because it was just more authentic that way, it would be my ass that got in trouble.

I was totally surprised, therefore, when I found myself staring at nothing but the dark outline of my house.

"Huh?" I muttered. "Jake, don't scare me like that, I thought someone had caught me!"

I jumped when Jake's normal human voice answered me. "Why would you think that?"

"Because you told me to turn around," I accused, half-turning back to him. I let out an audible gasp when I suddenly realised why he'd instructed me to turn. Jake had destroyed his clothes when he had phased, and now that he'd turned back into a real boy, he was completely naked.

I tried not to look. I really did. But I couldn't not look. Yeah, I've got the willpower not to take a bite out of Grandpa or Sue whenever I see them, but I'm not a _saint_.

Jake gave me a nervous grin when he caught me; wide eyed, open mouthed, _blatantly_ checking him out. "Eyes front, Renesmee," he teased.

I blushed fuchsia and pointedly turned my face away again. I could feel Jake's laughter rumbling through the ground at our feet. Did he really not get embarrassed by anything?!

"So… what are we going to tell my parents?" I asked, attempting a nonchalant tone. Fail. My voice was about ten times higher than normal.

"About what?" he asked. Damn him, he sounded perfectly casual! "The imprinting thing? They already know, Ness. Or do you mean about you perving on me naked, because that one, I really think you should keep to yourself. I kinda like my face the way it is, thanks."

I laughed, feeling a little of my nervousness ease. "I meant about you _telling_ me that you imprinted on me."

It still felt weird to say. What was even weirder was the knowledge that Jake thought of me in at least kind of the way I thought of him. Weirder still, none of that freaked me out. When he'd told me on the cliff, my insides had been screaming at him to kiss me. He hadn't, which I was still pretty disappointed over, to be honest. I'd thought about maybe initiating it, but the very idea had made me break out in a nervous sweat. I'd never kissed anyone before. What if I sucked? (Almost literally).

I still couldn't quite get my head around the fact that Jake had let me bite him. He tasted a hell of a lot better than a mountain lion, but he wasn't human-yummy, so it had been easy to stop. Would kissing him feel any different to biting him? I mean, in practice it would obviously be different. But the feelings? I figured they'd be pretty much the same.

Cue hyperventilation.

"Ness, you can turn round now," Jake called, breaking through my reverie. I was still rooted to the spot, though, my breath coming in shallow gasps. I felt the air stir beside me, and suddenly Jake was there, cupping my face in his hands and forcing me to look up at him. I dimly registered the new pair of sweats he was wearing and idly wondered where he'd miraculously pulled them from. The rest of my brain was still focused on my freakout.

"Nessie, what's wrong?" I didn't answer him. "Breathe, before you pass out."

I drew in one deep breath that made my chest hurt, and tried for words. "Sorry."

He frowned at me, dark eyebrows pulling low over his beautiful eyes. "For what?"

"Freaking out on you again," I admitted, yet another blush returning to my cheeks. His face relaxed, and he smiled.

"Oh, that's what that was?" Head tilted curiously to the side, he studied me. It looked so much like one of his wolf expressions that I giggled.

"I'm done wigging out, now," I promised him. He threw one massive arm over my shoulders and began to steer me towards the house. I tucked myself tightly against him in a way that I'd done a thousand times before, only this time, it felt completely different. But in a good way. Even the familiar had a new flavour of excitement to it.

"So, what was that one about?" he asked amiably as we strolled.

"Oh, nothing," I replied breezily.

"You can tell me anything, you know," he reminded me quietly. I drew in a shaky breath. Of course he was right. He was Jacob. I'd never kept secrets from him before. Ever. I should just suck it up and tell him.

"Okay, so… I freaked out about kissing you," I confessed in a splurge so quick that I hoped he'd understood. From the way he jerked us both to a halt, I could tell that he had.

His face was a mask of confusion as he peered down at me. "But I didn't kiss you." We both heard the unspoken _yet_ at the end of the sentence, which made my knees tremble.

"No, I know," I told him, exhaling deeply. "But I started think about… if you did, and I have no idea what to do."

"You'd rather I didn't?" I saw the hurt flash in his irises. Oh no! This was coming out all wrong.

"No, no, that's not it!" I buried my face in his chest, feeling his heartbeat thud against my forehead. The steady rhythm calmed me. "I meant I have no idea what to do in the technical sense."

If I could have burst into flame, I would have.

"Oh," Jake breathed, and I felt him relax against me. He gave a throaty chuckle. "Ness, I'm not exactly Don Juan myself. Chill out."

I peeked up at him, evident surprise plastered across my face. "You have to have much more experience than me."

"Some," he acquiesced, nodding. Then he smirked. "But I wouldn't say 'much'."

I felt a sudden flood of relief at his words, the envy that I hadn't even been aware that I was feeling eased slightly. "Oh, okay. Well, good."

"Okay," he echoed, grinning down at me. "So, d'you want me to kiss you? Practice makes perfect, and all that."

"Wow, Jacob, you're a born romantic," I snorted sarcastically, trying to mask the fact that my heart was suddenly in my mouth.

He laughed loudly. "Alright, yeah, I'm not very good at this." And he turned away from me, resuming our walk. Without thinking, I grabbed his forearm and yanked him back to face me. His eyes widened in astonishment.

"I didn't get a chance to answer the question," I told him, my breath quickening.

"I thought the snide comment was an answer," he breathed, sounding a bit unsteady himself.

"Shut up, Jake," I grumbled, smacking him on the chest. He grinned down at me, and the total adoration in his gaze made my breath catch. He slid his hand under my chin, pulling my face up. My heart was pounding so hard I was afraid it might break my ribs. Very deliberately, he leaned down. I stood on my tiptoes to meet him, our faces less than an inch apart…

"Hey, guys!" Emmett's booming voice made Jacob lurch away from me so fast that my head started spinning. I glared at my uncle in profound irritation as he jogged across the lawn towards us, a triumphant smirk etched across his deceptively cherubic face. "What'cha doing?"

"Nothing," Jake and I chorused. He sounded guilty. I sounded pissed as hell.

"Didn't look like nothing to me," Emmett joked, waggling his eyebrows at us suggestively. "Maybe I should call your daddy dearest…"

"Emmett, don't!" I protested, much more loudly than I'd intended. His face split into a huge grin. "Please."

"Aw, c'mon, Ness, would I ever do that to you?" he asked me, batting his eyelashes innocently. I resisted the urge to pick up a nearby boulder and lob it at his head. He turned to Jake, smile still firmly in place.

"You've got some explaining to do, young man," he taunted. Jake frowned at him, clearly as put out as I was.

"Hell. Go there," he grumbled at my uncle. Emmett chortled.

"Leave them alone, Emmett," Alice's tinkling wind-chime voice joined us a split second before she did. She was smiling, too, but her smile was full of gloating affection. "You're such a pain."

Emmett shrugged. "Just doing my job ruining my favourite niece's fun."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm your only niece, Em."

"Exactly. Therefore you are cursed to bear the brunt of my annoying interruptions."

"Where are Bella and Edward?"Jake asked, dark eyes darting to the tree line as though he expected my parents to jump out and eat him. I wouldn't put it past Dad, in all honesty.

Emmett smirked again, a steely glint in his eye. "Er… they're _busy_."

"Ew," Jake and I spoke in unison again. Alice trilled out a laugh.

"Oh, look at you two! How adorable!"

I'm pretty sure I saw a vein pulse in Jacob's temple, but he regained control over his annoyance quickly, although the smile that spread across his face was totally unconvincing.

I understood his irritation. Having been deemed adorable all my life, I would have preferred another descriptor. Any other descriptor.

"I know, aren't they _precious_," Emmett gushed in mock enthusiasm. Okay, except that one. I gave them both another monster eye-roll, and stomped off towards the house. I didn't need to look back to know that they were all following me.

I reached the front door first, obviously, and let myself in quietly, fighting to control the teenage strop that was threatening to take over my entire being. I flitted past the grand piano, and threw myself bodily down on the sofa, huffing.

"What's up, Nessie?" Jasper's voice came from behind me. In the blink of an eye, he had placed both hands on the back of the sofa and he turned a somersault as he vaulted over the top of it, landing lightly on the cushions beside me. _Cool_.

"I hate Emmett," I muttered, scowling. Jazz chuckled.

"I told him not to go out there."

"You should have restrained him, then."

"Sure, you want to try that? Good luck."

I fiddled with one of Esme's throw pillows for a second, and then took a deep breath. A wave of calm stole over me, and I glanced at Jasper quizzically.

"Just trying to help," he told me serenely. I sighed.

"Jake told me about the imprint," I told him.

"I figured."

"You all knew, and you never said anything?" I couldn't help the note of accusation that leaked into my tone. I was probably going to be a little bitter about that one for a while. "I can't believe you, of all people, never told me."

Jasper shrugged. "It wasn't my place to tell."

Well, how could I be mad at him when he put it like that? It was the same excuse he'd used whenever my dad had chewed him out for lying to him about something I'd done.

"Well, I'm still not happy about it," I huffed.

"I'm sorry, Nessie." He paused for a second. "Esme will be thrilled, she's been harping on at Jacob to spill the beans for weeks."

"She has?" Okay, Esme was off my shit list.

"Yep. He just kept to the official party line; 'I don't want to say anything until she's ready'." Jasper did a fantastic imitation of Jacob's deep, husky voice.

"So, he likes me?" I checked. I still couldn't quite believe it. Jazz laughed and pulled me into a one-armed hug.

"Ness, he loves you."

Wow! What? "Really?"

"Yes!" he was laughing. "Is that so hard to believe? You have a very unique charm, sweetheart."

I smiled into the collar of Jasper's shirt. It was an unusually dark one for him – midnight blue. I couldn't help but think it suited him a little better than the pastel shades. Of course, I would think that. I bought it.

"Nice shirt," I commented, tugging at the collar lightly.

"My favourite niece bought it for my birthday," he replied, ruffling my hair. I ducked out from under his hand, laughing. It was at that point that Alice, Emmett and Jake walked into the room.

"I always tell you to wear some different colours," Alice pouted prettily. "Why will you listen to her and not to me?" There was a teasing sparkle in her eyes as she spoke, and Jasper smiled beatifically at her.

"Because Nessie is the queen of temper tantrums now, my love," he told her, and in a flash, he was on his feet and pulling her into his arms. Their twin laughs brought a smile to my face, making Jasper's criticism of me totally weightless.

"It's four a.m. Why has nobody put the dog out yet?" Rose's voice sounded from the doorway, and she skirted around Jacob like he had an infectious disease. I rolled my eyes as he stuck his tongue out at her. Rose's expression softened exponentially as she regarded me. "Honey, it's late. Aren't you tired?"

"Shattered," I informed her, punctuating my words with a yawn. "It's been a long night."

Jake's eyes found mine, and the two of us shared a private smile. Rose glanced from me to her least favourite person in the world, and sighed.

"You told her." It wasn't a question. Jake answered anyway.

"Yeah, I did."

"Oh, brilliant."

"Rose…" I half-chided, reaching out to her. She melted again when she looked at me, and her face was more radiant than words could describe when she gave me a smile.

"If you're happy with this, I am too, sweetie."

"Well I am," I told her emphatically. Jacob beamed in my peripheral vision.

"Then so am I." She sank onto the sofa in Jasper's recently vacated place, and kissed the top of my head with her cool lips. "But I meant it when I said puppy curfew is over. Say goodnight, Jake."

"Goodnight, Jake," he parroted, making me laugh.

I extracted myself from Rose's arms and made my way towards the door to see Jacob out. He was stone-cold sober again, which meant he was safe to drive back to the rez. Except now, with this new information between us, I couldn't bear to let him leave. I gritted my teeth against the unexplainable feeling of loss already building in my chest.

"See you later, Ness," he whispered to me, while my family tactfully pretended not to listen.

"Yeah, see you," I murmured, and then paused awkwardly at the front door. The way Jake was holding his shoulders told me that he felt a little strange as well. How did we say goodbye? A hug? A wave? A handshake? The very idea of the last one made me want to laugh. How ridiculous!

Jake decided it for me. He stooped and planted a kiss on my cheek. Tingles spread out all over my face from where his lips touched me, blossoming all over my body and settling low in my stomach. A hopeless yearning feeling stole over me, and I inhaled sharply.

As he turned to go, I caught his hand with my own, focusing with all my energy on projecting my thoughts.

_Pretend to leave. Come upstairs. _

My thought echoed in my own head, and I could tell by the way his eyes widened infinitesimally that he'd heard it as well. He nodded, a fast jerk of his head that my family weren't paying attention to, and then shot me his trademark goofy grin.

"Night guys," he called through to the living room.

"Bye," Alice, Jasper and Emmett chorused. Rose huffed.

I turned away from the door as soon as it closed, trying to mask the excited flush on my cheeks. Fighting to keep my pace measured, I returned to the living room. I was surprised to see Carlisle and Esme had joined the others. Carlisle was reading a book, looking all absorbed and scholarly. Esme was busy fluffing the cushions I'd messed up. I grinned with affection at both of them.

Esme glanced up as I entered, her beautiful face breaking out into a doting smile. "Did you have a good birthday, darling?"

I answered her smile with one of my own. "The best yet."

"Bella and Edward are at the cottage. Are you going to go to your room there, or here?"

"Here," I replied immediately. Emmett snickered. Carlisle glanced up from his book with a look of benign amusement.

"Probably wise," he said softly. I shuddered. That time Emmett wasn't the only one who laughed.

"Goodnight then, guys," I muttered. I heard Jake's car engine flare to life from the garage, and then fade off into the distance. He'd have to run back.

"We're going to go hunting," Emmett declared, and the rest of the family blinked at him in surprise. The knowing look he gave me said that maybe not all of my family had missed the exchange between Jacob and I. His wink confirmed it.

"All of us?" Rose asked suspiciously. Emmett nodded sagely.

"Nessie will be zonked out, and I don't know about you, but I'm hungry."

"Okay," Jasper agreed, shrugging. Alice was already on her feet. She bounded up to me and planted a kiss on my cheek.

"Night, Nessie."

"Night!"

I took the stairs two at a time, and shut myself into my bedroom, brushing my teeth as nonchalantly as I could manage while I listened to the rest of them flitting about downstairs.

There was the unmistakeable click of the front door opening, and then Emmett's voice, very deliberately, calling "Bye, Ness!"

I listened intently as the door slammed and six sets of footsteps faded off into the distance. Smiling to myself, I deposited my toothbrush beside the sink, and pulled on my pyjamas. I instantly fretted that they weren't nice enough, just a tank top and baggy purple cotton pants. I dismissed the desire to change.

_It's Jake, _my subconscious reminded me, _he doesn't care what you wear. _

Nervous butterflies were bashing around my stomach. Crossing the room in three strides, I slid open the window, wide enough for Jacob to climb through when he arrived. I struggled to keep my breathing even as I folded back my comforter and slid into bed, waiting.

What if he didn't come back? He'd said he would, but what if he was just telling me what I wanted to hear? I shrugged off the thought instantly. No way, Jake never lied to me. Okay, well, except the fact that he'd not told me about our imprint. Well, that was more a lie of omission. Still…

He'd come back. Of course he would. But what then? I bit my lip anxiously. What was he expecting? I'd asked him to come back to my room, knowing there was something way more than friends between us now. Did he think that I wanted to have sex?

Did I?

Okay, I'd thought about it. Especially after accidentally seeing him naked. I couldn't help it, it was only natural. But I was in no way ready for that! The very thought made me want to pass out. I was dangerously close to hyperventilation. I mean, I had no clue about any of this! Did Jake? Had he ever 'done it' with a girl?

Ugh, no, I really didn't want to think about that. Even the errant idea had me clenching my fists and fighting a fervent urge to smash something. But what if he had? What if I did it, and I was no good? Would Jake still want me?

Okay, and even if that was an extreme case of putting the cart before the horse, what about kissing? I was definitely not opposed to that, but what if I was terrible at that, too, and it put him off me for life? Can a person be _that_ bad at it?

I cradled my head in my hands, breathing hard through my nose. I really didn't want to mess this up. Any of it. And I really, really didn't want to make a fool of myself.

Maybe I should've gotten some advice from someone. But who? I couldn't ask the people I usually went to advice for. Jake was out, for obvious reasons. Jasper was out, because he'd never want to answer me about this. Alice and Rose and Esme were out, because Dad could hear their thoughts. Mom was out, because it was me and Jake, and entirely too weird to talk to her about. Leah…? No, she was out, because as soon as she phased, Jake would know I'd spoken to her.

So who did that leave? I chewed it over for a few moments, until I was hit by a stroke of brilliance. It was so obvious, I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before… Carmen!

I'd grabbed my cell from the nightstand and punched in her number before I could talk myself out of it. I waited with baited breath for the call to connect.

She answered on the second ring.

"Nessie? It's late, _mi querida_, what's the matter?"

I felt calm the second I heard her voice, and I exhaled heavily in relief. "Hi, Carmen. Don't worry, nothing's wrong."

I could almost hear her smile. "Then judging by your voice, I'm going to guess that it's a boy keeping you up all night?"

I grinned. How did she do that? "Bingo. I need your advice."

"And I am always honoured to help, _mi Corazon_. Tell me, who is it that has you so nervous?"

I sucked in a deep breath. Here goes… "It's Jacob."

"_El lobo feroz_?" I chuckled at her expression. Jake would get a kick out of that.

"Yeah. I told him that I have a crush on him."

"And he reciprocates, obviously."

"Did everyone know about this damn imprint apart from me?" I groaned. Carmen's laughter bubbled through the speaker.

"Of course, _querida_. The most involved is usually the last to know. But why do you need my advice?"

"Well, if…" I could hardly bring myself to say the words. "If I kissed him… how would that… work, exactly?"

"Oh, Renesmee, is that why you are so worried? Just relax, _Niña_, it will be instinctive. Like the hunt. Trust me, when the time comes, you will know what to do."

"But what if I'm really bad at it?" I asked in a small voice.

"You won't be! But even if you aren't as good as you want to be, he won't care. He loves you. You are his whole world, and nothing will ever change that."

I smiled in the semi-darkness, hugging myself tightly as a new feeling of joy exploded in me at her words. "Really?"

"Absolutely. You have nothing to fear, Nessie."

"Thanks, Carmen, I'm going to go to sleep now."

"_Dulces sueños_, Renesmee." 'Sweet dreams'. I felt a rush of affection for her, and suddenly wished I could give her a hug.

"Thank you. Goodnight." I hit the 'end call' button on my phone and gazed up at my ceiling, lost in thought. So it would be easy?

I hoped so. Speaking to Carmen had been like a soothing tonic for my nerves, and I basked in the sudden peace that had settled over me. Sure, my stomach was still doing backflips, but in an entirely good way now.

"Nessie?"

I jumped about a foot in the air as Jake's head popped into view from the window ledge, clutching my heart weakly. "Dang, Jake! You scared the crap out of me!"

He sniggered. "Sorry." He stretched out one hand to me. "Help a wolf out?"

I rolled my eyes at him, recovering from the shock, and took his hand, heaving him into the room. He landed on my carpet with a muted thud.

I crossed back to my bed and slid onto the rumpled comforter, my back braced against the wall, facing him, My mouth was suddenly dry as he stood to his full, impressive height. His chest was bare, and his hair was slightly damp, some strands sticking to his forehead. He must have noticed my quizzical look, because he answered my unspoken question.

"It started raining about ten minutes ago."

"Oh," I mumbled. "You ran here in the rain?"

"I'm not made of sugar," he teased. He took a step towards the bed and sank onto the mattress beside me, dark eyes studying me carefully. "You okay?"

I nodded mutely. His brow furrowed.

"You seem nervous," he noted, tugging gently on one of my bronze curls.

"I am," I confessed, smiling sheepishly. He grinned.

"Yeah, me too."

I raised my eyebrows at this new tidbit. I made Jacob nervous? My subconscious smirked in satisfaction.

When I didn't say anything else, Jake collapsed down onto the bed at my side, head on the pillow and feet dangling off the end. "So, what'cha been doing?"

I laughed, and then mimicked his breezy tone, twisting so that I was lying on the pillow beside him. "Oh, nothin'. Just hanging around in my ivory tower, wondering if I'd have to let down my hair so you could climb up."

"Rapunzel! Rapunzel!" Jake called in a terrible British accent, and I giggled.

"Loser," I told him fondly.

"Bitch," he grinned at me, poking his tongue out. I swatted his head. "Ow!"

The pair of us doubled up laughing. Even through my newfound eyes, Jake was the same adorable moron he always had been. The thought was really comforting. It told me that, no matter what sort of scary new thing was happening with us, he would still always be my Jacob, just like I would still always be his Nessie.

Maybe Carmen was right. Maybe this whole transition thing would be way easier than I'd expected.

Jake twisted so that he was propped up on his elbow, facing me. His eyes watched me, the laughter still sparkling in their deep brown depths. He had a strangely reverent expression on his face. It was a little fanatical.

It totally made me feel like I was flying.

"What?" I murmured, when he didn't say anything.

"Nothin'. I just… you're the most awesome person in the universe, you know that?"

I felt my blush come from my toes. "Back at'cha."

He beamed my special, thousand-watt smile. "Really?"

"Totally."

I knew he was going to do it before it happened, so I had just long enough for my breath to catch in my throat before he leaned across the distance between us and pressed his lips, softly, to mine.

Whoa! That first moment, as soon as my lips connected with his, my inner turmoil breathed a sudden sigh of relief. His mouth moved gently against mine, and I responded with an enthusiasm I don't think either of us expected. My arms locked around his neck as I pulled him closer, my mouth opening his, my tongue skimming over his bottom lip. He hummed low in his throat, and I felt like the sound had set me on fire.

I fell into that kiss, headfirst and flailing, my body singing as it recognised something that my brain hadn't even figured out yet – I loved Jacob. Loved him like my heart wasn't strong enough to cope with the feeling. I loved him so much it hurt. Weirdly, the revelation didn't scare me. Not when I could feel his hand on my waist, his tongue in my mouth. He eclipsed my senses entirely, and for the first time ever, I felt whole.

He broke away when we were both in danger of passing out. Instead of rolling back over to his side of the bed, he buried his face in the crook of my neck, panting. My fingers ran through his silky hair as I fought for breath. My lungs were burning, but it was worth the pain.

"Wow," I whispered. I felt Jake grin against my shoulder.

"I'll say," he breathed. There was a brief pause as our breathing returned to normal. "Your heart is pounding like crazy," he told me.

"You, too," I murmured. It thrilled me to know that I was the cause of that.

"This'll be totally worth it when Edward breaks my face," he said, only semi-kidding. I snorted.

"I'll beat him up if he tries," I assured him.

"Hey, I don't need you to fight my battles for me, woman!" he protested jokily. I giggled. He grinned into my shoulder again, and then he sat up to look at me.

"I love it when you laugh," he told me earnestly, raising one hand to skim the backs of his knuckles across my overheated cheek. I gazed up at him, completely bewitched. I think I finally got what Mom was on about when she told me that Dad dazzled her. Apparently it wasn't an ability exclusive to vampires.

_I love you. _The words were there, on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't spit them out. Not yet. It was too soon, too confusing, too… what were Jake's words? Intense and creepy. Yeah. So, instead, I smiled coyly at him.

"I'm tired, Jake," I whispered. His face fell slightly.

"Oh, okay. I'll go…" He shifted his weight, but before he could get up, I snatched his wrist, pulling him back down beside me.

"You're not going anywhere. Stay here with me," I commanded, a lot more forcefully than I'd intended. He chuckled into my hair and reached down to pull the covers up around us.

"Yes, ma'am," he whispered. I smiled, and because I was feeling brave, I leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Night, Jake," I murmured, rolling onto my side. His arm snaked around my waist and he pulled me closer, my back pressed against his chest. It felt _right_.

"Sweet dreams, Nessie."

I smiled as his words reminded me of my phone conversation. "Hey, do you know what Carmen calls you?"

"What?"

"_El lobo feroz_."

"That whole Spanish accent thing you just did sounds hot and all, but I have no idea what that means," he mumbled sleepily.

"It means 'the big bad wolf'," I replied softly. I could feel the tremors of his silent laughter in my own body.

"That's brilliant!"

"I thought you'd like it."

And that's how I drifted off to sleep, nestled into Jacob's arms, still hearing his soft laughter echoing in my ear like a lullaby.

* * *

_**A/N: So, they kissed! What did you think? **_

_**Thanks to all my reviewers so far! I love hearing your comments :)**_

_**PJ**_

_**x**_


	4. Wind-ups and Well-wishers

**Jacob**

I woke up groggy, but elated for some reason I couldn't really remember. It was only when I felt someone stir beside me that my eyes flew open and it all came rushing back.

Nessie. My confession. Staying over. The kiss…

My grin stretched so wide I thought that my face might split open. I gave Nessie a light squeeze around the waist, lifting my head off the pillow so that I could watch her reaction. Damn, she was beautiful. Her eyelids fluttered open, her big brown eyes blinking sleepily at me. She gasped and beamed as her gaze focused on my face.

"Hey," she murmured.

"Hey, yourself."

"_Ahem_."

We both froze, frowning questioningly at each other. It took me about a nanosecond to realise that neither of us had made that noise. That could only mean one thing.

My heartbeat quickened in dread as I turned towards the doorframe.

Shiiiiiiit.

Standing there, glaring at me with a fury so black it looked like he should have a storm cloud hovering over his head, was Edward.

I chuckled nervously. "Morning."

He glowered at me like he could melt the flesh off my face if he didn't blink for long enough. I had to admit, I quailed a little under the intensity of his anger. Nessie, for some unknowable reason, was completely unfazed.

"Dad, don't start," she groaned, throwing back the comforter to make it abundantly clear that we were both wearing clothes. That seemed to relax him a little, but we're talking _marginally_. As in, maybe now he'd settle for just breaking my nose, instead of caving my head in.

It wasn't great, as far as improvements go.

"Renesmee, go downstairs. I want to talk to Jacob." He was biting off the ends of his words in anger. Damn, that leech was maaaaaaaaad!

"Don't leave me!" I hissed in desperation as I felt her begin to shift beside me. She dithered, her eyes flitting between me and her father.

"Now."

Well, there was no arguing with Edward's tone. Nessie gave me an apologetic look and slid off the bed. As she passed her father, she laid one hand on his arm. "If you kill him, I'm telling."

Miraculously, his lips twitched as he struggled to keep a straight face. "I won't kill him." He glanced my way again, and the rage was back. "Yet."

Gulp. Yep, I was in trouble.

Nessie paused at the top of the stairs. I could just make out her long, bronze curls from behind Edward.

"You know, Dad, watching people sleep is really creepy," she muttered, and I spluttered with laughter, which I hastily turned into a hacking cough at Edward's murderous glare. To my surprise, I heard what was unmistakeably Bella's chiming laugh from a floor below.

Nessie started down the stairs, while Edward fumed silently at me. Huh. Alright for some, eh? She'd get away with an eye roll and a 'don't do that again'. Me, I was about to be kibble.

"Ooooo, is Jacob in trouble?" Emmett snickered in a sing-song voice from somewhere below.

"Shut up, Em," Nessie growled. I had to work hard to keep the grin off my face.

Of course, Edward's expression managed to quell the urge to laugh pretty effectively. He looked like a freaking statue, and a seriously hateful statue at that. For pretty much the first time in my life, I was actually a little afraid of him.

"So…?" I prompted cautiously, when I thought the silence was actually going to kill me.

He unfroze. Spectacularly. "So?" he hissed through clenched teeth, his voice deathly quiet and all the more menacing for it. "So, do you want to explain yourself?"

"Uh, I'm a really bad sleepwalker?" I replied, shrugging. His jaw flexed.

"Do you think this is funny?"

"Well, a little bit, yeah…" He snarled, and I backtracked. Sharpish. "Okay, look, thing is, I didn't exactly plan on falling asleep here, but it was late, and I was really tired, and you know, one thing led to another, and before I knew it…" I trailed off at the look on his face.

"One thing led to another?" His voice was different now. Faint. Like he was gunna pass out, or be sick, or something else weird and totally un-vampire-y (I know that's not a word). I frowned at him for a second, not getting it, and then it clicked. Wow, foot in mouth. Again.

I held up my hands in the universal gesture for 'I surrender, please don't eat me'. "No! No! That _so_ didn't come out right… Okay, what I meant by that was just that Nessie wouldn't shut up – you know how she gets –"

"Hey!" Nessie's protest echoed up to me. Damn.

"Sorry!" I called. Honestly, couldn't she just take one tiny bullet? You'd think she wanted me to be vampire chow. "But yeah, she kept yapping on, and I was really sleepy, and then the next thing I know, I'm awake and you're looking like you want to rip my head off."

I was very deliberately not thinking about the rest of that story, so I cringed when Edward demanded. "And the kiss?"

"Birthday present?" I suggested meekly.

Edward stared at me impassively for a long moment, and it was like time stood still. I was waiting for the scythe to swing, so I was totally taken aback when his ferocious expression disintegrated and he burst out laughing.

I could only gape at him in bewilderment as his laugh echoed off the walls, and was picked up by the other seven people earwigging. Once he had gotten control over himself, Edward straightened up and flashed me a wide and completely genuine grin.

"You should've seen your face," he choked, still working to get his laughter under control.

Oh. I see. This was all just an elaborate game to make me sweat. Nice. I didn't even have the energy to be pissed off, I was just so glad that I wasn't about to be dismembered and fed to my own pack.

"That was so not even remotely funny," I muttered weakly, as Edward offered me his hand to pull me out of the bed. He shrugged, not even having the decency to look apologetic, and I grabbed his arm to steady myself. He immediately released my hand, and I fell back with a thud against the headboard. Wincing, I rubbed my head. "Ow!"

"Yeah, that's for jumping into bed with my daughter," he said serenely, and disappeared from the bedroom door in one of his nauseatingly fast movements. I glowered at the empty air where he had been, muttering dire threats under my breath.

Nessie appeared in the doorway just as I stood up, and she, too, looked like she was struggling to control her laughter.

"Tell me you didn't know he was messing around," I beseeched her, raising my eyebrows.

"I swear I didn't," she promised. "But that was good, you've got to admit."

"Sure, sure," I grumbled, but I couldn't help smiling at her.

She blinked her big doe eyes at me and held out one hand. I grabbed her fingers, loving how warm she felt after Edward's ice-cold grasp. I brushed my thumb across her knuckles and permitted myself a satisfied smirk when she inhaled sharply.

"Ness?"

"Yeah?"

"About last night…"

Instead of letting me finish my sentence, she tugged me to a stop and pulled me round to face her. Standing on her tiptoes, she reached up and placed her palm on my cheek, looking seriously into my eyes.

In my head, I saw myself, from her perspective. I was lying on the bed beside her, and giving her a really dorky smile. There was an underlying flavour to her memory, and I was attuned enough to her to know what it was, though I'd never seen it in her thoughts before – it was sorta like the whole 'butterflies in your stomach' thing. Nervousness and excitement all rolled up into one.

She smiled shyly at me as her hand fell away from my face, and I blinked to clear my vision. I was gazing down at her in wonder, scarcely able to believe my luck. Surely having Nessie as a constant presence in my life was as good as I was ever going to get. I'd been resigned to just being her friend. I didn't really believe that I'd ever have her, standing in front of me, admitting to me that she felt it, _this_, too.

I mean, I was never that guy. I was the second choice. I was the guy the girl didn't even know she had a thing for, because she was too busy loving someone else. I wasn't the guy the girl feels dizzy over.

"You're doing that thing you do," Nessie murmured to me, her fingers brushing the hair away from my eyes. "Stop self-reflecting."

I grinned down at her, adoration saturating my heart from all sides. "What makes you think I'm self-reflecting? And why is that necessarily bad?"

She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, reminding me simultaneously of Edward and Bella. "Because with you, self-reflection turns into self-deprecation pretty quickly."

"How do you do that?" I whispered to her.

"Do what?"

"Know what I'm thinking all the time."

"Creepy imprint thing?" she suggested, smirking mischievously.

I shook my head at her, chuckling. "Maybe. I don't know."

"I could always ask Kim. Or Claire, maybe?"

"Claire's ten, Ness," I pointed out. "You were at her birthday party last week."

She gave me an 'and what?' look. "So?"

"So she doesn't know anything about all this yet," I shrugged, sliding one arm around her waist. I felt the zing of electricity between us as I touched her, which made us both smile. "Don't go spilling the legendary beans."

"She doesn't know that Quil's imprinted on her?" Nessie's eyebrows knitted together over her chocolate eyes, and she pursed her lips disapprovingly. "Wow, that's really, supremely uncool, Jake."

"What's he supposed to say? She knows the 'big secret', it's not like she's totally in the dark."

"Yeah, but she is about the part that affects her life, for the rest of her life!" Nessie huffed. "You have to tell her!"

"I'm not telling her! It's not my place! And it's not yours, either, before you start getting any ideas," I reminded her. Jeez, how did that conversation turn into a fight? She looked at me then, and let me just say, I would not have been exaggerating if I said Medusa wanted her withering glare back. I took an involuntary step backwards from her ire.

"That's such bullshit, Jacob. If you'd told me about this imprinting thing a lot sooner, then I…" She trailed off, apparently at a complete loss as to what she would have done. Truth is, I think she totally understood why Claire didn't know. It would have freaked her out, and Quil wanted her to choose him, just like I'd wanted Nessie to choose me. But Ness was never one to admit she was in the wrong, and contrite wasn't a great look on her anyway, so she just growled and glared off at some faraway point over my shoulder, grinding her teeth.

"C'mon, I don't want to fight with you," I wheedled, grabbing her hands in mine. She wouldn't look at me, so I ducked my head until I'd invaded her eye line. She tried to turn away, but I leaned into her vision again, and eventually she cracked a smile.

"Damn it!" she chuckled. "I'm still mad at you." But she let me pull her into a hug, so she couldn't have been that pissed.

"What about, specifically?" I asked as I stroked her hair.

"I'm not entirely sure," she grumbled, and I laughed.

* * *

The best thing about Nessie is that, even though she can fly into a rage at the drop of a hat, her bad moods never last long. We were sitting on the sofa in the palatial living room, me on my fourth helping of Ness's birthday cake, everyone else alternating between watching TV and staring at me in revulsion. Rosalie was perched on Emmett's lap, and had been keeping up a long stream of passive-aggressive comments directed at me for the past half hour.

I was pointedly ignoring her. Who says I can't be mature?

Nessie was lying across the couch we were both on, her legs draped over my lap, and she was debating something with Jasper quietly. Ignoring yet another bitchy aside from Rosalie, I listened in to what my – well, my _everything_, really – and her uncle were talking about.

"I'm not saying that, Jazz, I just think you're overthinking it."

"How am I possibly overthinking it?"

"Look, it's mind over matter. If you see a human, sure, you get thirsty. I do, too. But it's a conscious decision not to drink their blood wherein lies your greatest strength. If you rely on that, rather than the physical desire to drink, it's easy to resist. Think of it as exercising your mental capabilities and suppressing the animalistic urge."

Whoa. Okay, head spinning off into another dimension. Sometimes I forget how crazy smart Renesmee actually is. It's terrifying.

Didn't seem to faze Jasper at that particular moment, though. "Okay, I see your point. But have you ever thought that maybe there's something to be said for the whole 'nature vs nurture' debate? Maybe self-control is something that I have a natural difficulty with?"

Nessie was already shaking her head before he could finish her sentence. "No, that's crap. If anything, your lack of restraint is leaning more towards the nurture side of the argument. If you hadn't spent so many years drinking human blood straight from the vein with Maria and the Southern armies, then you might have had self-control instilled in you from the get-go, and you wouldn't have such a problem with it now."

Jasper gave her a crooked smile. "When did you get so smart?"

She batted her eyelashes at him coquettishly. "I've always been smarter than you," she joked in a saccharine tone. I chortled at the half-amused, half-wounded expression on Jasper's face. My eyes found Bella and Alice, who were sitting in the corner, lost in their own conversation. Bella glanced up at the same time, and our eyes met. She smiled briefly before returning to her conversation, our old-times best friend smile that I loved.

Huh. I guess if Nessie was ready to claim a romantic title in my life, then that would mean that Bella was my best friend again. If I wasn't used to all the weirdness in my life, I think my head might have exploded at the concept of my maybe-girlfriend's mother being my closest friend.

But then, considering that I turned into a big wolf, and Nessie drank blood, and I spent ninety percent of my time on two legs with a houseful of moving statues, the fact that I was BFF's with the eternally-eighteen year old mother of the girl I'd end up marrying was probably the most normal thing about my life.

I looked back at Nessie to find her watching me curiously. Giving her a small grin, I swivelled her ankles off my legs and stood. She gave me a puzzled look.

"I'm going for a run," I told her quietly. "See if Seth's about."

She didn't cling, and beg to come with me. She didn't even ask. She just smiled a dazzling smile and murmured, "Okay. Don't run away to Canada or anything like that."

I stooped to kiss her head. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Oh, good, the dog's going for a walk. Anybody have any air freshener so we can get rid of that stench while he's not polluting the place?" Rosalie piped up. I sighed, but didn't rise to the bait. _Happy thoughts, Jake_.

"Rose, be nice," Nessie tutted. "My Jacob's going to be here for keeps, so you better get used to the wolf smell, if you weren't already."

My heart skipped a beat and I thought I might combust with pure joy at her words. Grinning like an idiot, I ducked out of the house and raced down the front steps, peeling my shirt off as I went. I was too elated to even bother to listen to Rosalie's response.

I phased just near the tree line, and instantly had a head full of Seth.

_Jake, man! Where were you last night? I called by Billy's but he said you weren't there. _

_ Relax, Seth, I stayed at the Cullens'. _

Seth paused for a second as I started running in the direction of his thoughts, my legs stretching out fully for the first time since my hunt with Renesmee yesterday. Images of the day before flashed through my mind like a greatest hits video reel, and I heard Seth's internal gasp of shock as an image of me and Nessie kissing crept unbidden into my mind. Oops. Hadn't meant to share that.

_Well, dang, Jake! Congrats!_

_ Thanks, kid. But let's not get into uncomfortable territory or anything…_

_ Was it a good kiss?_

_ …Like that. You know, I say something, I hope you listen, but there you go, just breaking through boundaries like they aren't even there. _

_ S' what I'm here for. _

_ Ugh. Great. Jacob and Nessie. There's an image I don't want. _Another voice, decidedly female and dripping with sarcasm, echoed in my brain. I snorted a laugh through my muzzle.

_Hello to you, too, Leah. _

_ Morning, oh wise and powerful Alpha. I suppose I should say congratulations on making out with your hybrid girlfriend…_

_ Don't do me any favours, or anything. _

_ Have I ever? We're on First Beach. Quil's with Claire, and Embry's at work. _Leah's usual hatefulness seemed kind of muted today. Maybe she really was pleased for me. Huh.

_ Okay, I'll be there in ten. _

_ Hey, Jake?_

_ Yes, Seth?_

_ You never answered my question. _He sounded whiny. Man, I hate it when Seth whines.

_ I wasn't planning on it. But if you must know, yeah, it was awesome. _

_ Spare me the gory details!_ Leah cringed. _It's bad enough with the visual._

Okay, so maybe Leah wasn't _totally_ happy for me. I felt bad for her, I really did. I mean, all the woman wanted was an imprint of her own, and it must have sucked majorly to hear me and Quil going on and on and on about Nessie and Claire on repeat, like a broken record she couldn't turn off.

_Yeah, it totally sucks. But don't throw me a pity party or anything,_ Leah sighed in my head.

Instead of feeling sorry for her, I focused on the feeling of the ground flying away beneath my feet, and the wind gusting through my fur. Jeez, how long had it been since I really _ran_? I was more than a little disappointed when I finally reached my destination to find a sandy-coloured wolf and a smaller, light grey one, chasing each other down the beach. I paused on top of my log perch, just watching the two of them with an almost paternal affection.

_Catch me if you can, Leah!_

_ Please, little brother, I could run circles around you!_

_ Uh, guys?_

Both of them halted and turned to look at me expectantly, but not before Leah got a playful swipe in, cuffing Seth on the muzzle. I jumped from my log and padded over to them, feeling the wet sand scrunch beneath my paws.

_What's up, Jake?_ Seth wondered.

_I wanted to ask you both a favour. See, Nessie and I are going to see her Amazon bloodsucker pals for a couple of weeks, and I need one of you guys – or both of you, if you want – to take over working out a patrolling schedule with Sam. _

_ You're going to the Amazon? Cool! _Seth enthused.

_Yeah… to hang out with a load of actual people-drinking monsters. Riiiiight. Awesome. _Leah countered, always happy to rain on a parade.

_ Will one of you volunteer or not?_ I demanded, huffing through my nose.

_I'll do it,_ Leah thought instantly. _It's my job, technically. _

_ 'Kay. Good. Are you two coming to Charlie's and your mom's for dinner?_

_ Hell, yes! _Seth cheered. _You going with Ness?_

_ And Bella and Edward. See you at seven?_

_ Cool. _

_ Are you going back to hang out with the leeches, Jacob?_ Did Leah have to sound so disapproving?

_Yeah, I am. Nessie's there. _

Before she could help it, I felt Leah's pang of envy. She was lonely, way, way lonelier than she'd ever admit. Most of her bitterness came from wistful jealousy. That meant it was pretty damn hard to stay mad at her.

_You'll find someone,_ I assured her.

_Ugh. Get the hell outta here, Jake!_ She groaned. Well, that's what I got for trying to be nice, I supposed.

* * *

I made it back to the house in half the time, and was surprised to find Bella waiting for me by the edge of the woods. She was standing by the path to her little cottage, and motioned for me to follow her. I trotted behind as she darted along to her front door, which she opened and disappeared behind.

She'd left me a pair of jeans outside, which I gratefully put on as I phased back.

When I reached the small, cosy living room, Bella was sitting on the loveseat, her legs curled beneath her. She gestured for me to sit, smiling gently.

Intrigued, I flopped into the armchair. "What's up, Bells?"

"I want to talk about Renesmee," she said softly, her golden eyes fixed unblinkingly on my face. Of course she did. I sighed.

"Nothing happened."

"I know that." She flashed me a grin and tutted. "I just wanted to know where your head was at."

"Bet you never imagined this conversation happening eight years ago?" I said, half-laughing.

"No," she acquiesced. "Didn't enter my mind, funny enough."

"I used to be so hung up on you," I murmured. It was beyond weird to think about now. Like watching a movie of someone else's life. I could still remember it with perfect clarity, but I was so detached from it. "It's funny how things don't work out."

She glanced at the picture on the end table, the one of me and Nessie two years ago, when I took her ice skating in Seattle. A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she looked back at me. "It's funny how they do."

"Yeah."

"Are you in love with her, Jake?"

My eyebrows rose fractionally. "Wow, don't hold back on my account, Bella." She just gave me a _look, _a 'don't piss about with me' look that I'm pretty sure she learned from Ness. I sighed. "I don't know. Honestly, it's a lot to wrap my head around. This transitional thing is… confusing, to say the least."

"Well, how _do_ you feel?"

I pulled a face. "Bella…"

"I'm still your best friend, Jake. Talk to me."

She was right. Had I not been thinking the exact same thing not two hours previously? So, instead of dodging an answer, I pushed away all thoughts of who she was to Ness, and focused on who she was to me. My best friend in the whole world. A kindred spirit.

"Well, I dunno. Nessie… she's like no-one else in the world. She's extraordinary. But, I mean, you know that. I love the things about her that probably drive you crazy, I think. I love that she's a bit of a know-it-all, sometimes. It makes me laugh. And she freaks out over nothing, which I'm pretty sure she got from you, actually."

Bella grinned. "Nah. I think that one's Edward's fault."

"She throws truly epic sulks, sometimes."

"That one's definitely Edward's fault."

I snickered. That, I couldn't argue with. "But she's got a real taste for danger and rebellion, which is so much fun. I guess she kind of makes me feel alive, y'know? Like… like when she's not around, it's as though the volume gets turned down on the world, and things that are meant to be bright and vivid lose their colour. She makes my heart beat."

Bella was regarding me with the strangest expression on her face. It was like she wanted to cry, but didn't have any tears to shed.

"What?" I muttered, feeling my face heat up. "Too much?"

"No," she replied. "I think that was just what I needed to hear. You love her."

"I've always loved her," I reply defensively.

"No, Jake, this is different. You're _in_ love with her."

"How can you tell the difference? How do you know that this isn't just the same love as before, only with… well…"

"Attraction?" Bella supplied dryly, her mouth twisting into an uncomfortable grimace. "I just do. Let me ask you a question, Jacob… if she was to, I don't know, fall in love with someone else tomorrow, what would you do?"

The very thought was cutting my heart to ribbons. I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words, so I ended up doing an unflattering goldfish impersonation for a few minutes. It seemed sort of melodramatic to give her my immediate answer – _die_. But I couldn't think of a suitable alternative.

"That feeling right there?" Bella nodded at me. "That complete hopeless inability to answer? That's love. The real kind."

"That's…" I whistled, shaking my head like I was trying to dislodge water from my ears. "Terrifying."

Bella giggled. "Yeah. Tell me about it."

"Is this how you felt about Edward?" I asked her. "When he left?"

She nodded. "Every second."

"Huh. Well, I gotta say, I get it now." I gave her an apologetic grin. "I thought you were being melodramatic."

"So did most people," she shrugged. "But now you understand."

"I never got why you took him back after what he did."

"Would you take Renesmee back if she left?"

"Does Charlie like fishing?" I snorted, cocking one eyebrow at her. "C'mon Bells, Ness could eat my dad and I'd still forgive her. Granted, I wouldn't be too happy about it, but still…"

"Welcome to the club, Jacob. I'll get you a members only jacket."

I shook my head at her and laughed. "What do I say to Ness?"

"Don't rush into telling her. There's plenty of time. Just say it when it feels right. And hopefully when Edward isn't listening." Bella grinned again and rose from her seat in one fluid motion. "Come on, Nessie's been waiting for you to come back for over an hour."

I smiled and got up to join her. It's funny – I'd not even realised it, but I'd been waiting for Nessie for the last twenty four years.

* * *

_**A/N: So, I got an interesting idea from ainsley atchinson in one of my reviews - seeing things from maybe Bella or Edward's POV? I'm toying with it, so let me know what you guys think? **_

_**And stay tuned, because things are about to get interesting/calamitous, after a trip to the Amazon! **_

_**Thanks to all my reviewers so far, you guys are awesome!**_

_**PJ**_

_**x**_


	5. Firsts

_**Nessie**_

"Grandpa, seriously, I'm not hungry," I sighed. Sue's cooking always smelled fantastic, but it was human food, and it really, really didn't do it for me. I'd tried to explain that I was a fussy eater on more than, oh, fifty or so occasions, but all to no avail. He still tried to make me eat dinner.

Thankfully, Jake had gotten pretty good at eating the food off my plate without him noticing. I always knew that there was a reason I kept him around.

Dad snorted at my thoughts from across the table, shooting me a wink.

Grandpa sank into his chair at the head of the table, beaming as Sue set a plate of spaghetti down in front of me. She gave me an apologetic look, but pressed her lips tightly together and took her place beside Grandpa without another word.

It wasn't fair – Mom and Dad were excused from eating. They lied and said they were going out for dinner. But no, just because I _could_, I had to eat the muck.

It wasn't until I felt the silent tremors of laughter coming from Jacob that I realised I was holding his hand under the table, and he could hear my inner monologue like a podcast.

I snatched my fingers back and scowled at him. "It's not funny."

"I respectfully disagree," he whispered back, his eyes shining with mirth.

Instead of answering him, I picked up my fork and stared balefully down at my plate, as if I could will it into evaporating so that I didn't have to eat it.

Hell, if Jake found it so funny, I'd take a bite out of him, see how much he felt like mocking me then.

Actually… that thought had possibilities.

Dad growled before he could stop himself, and had to hastily turn it into a hacking cough. I glanced up, surprised, and blushed crimson when I realised he'd heard my tangential – and slightly inappropriate – thoughts. Crap.

Mom was frowning at him questioningly, but seemed to decide that she didn't want to know, because she turned to Seth and started up a loud conversation. Dad was deep in conversation with Charlie about fishing, and Sue, Leah and Jacob were chatting quietly about Jake's dad. I toyed with my food for a moment, before Grandpa's voice jerked me out of my reverie.

"So, Ness, Edward says you're going to be going to school next year?"

I jumped, startled, and glanced at my father for confirmation. This was news to me. He nodded, giving me an impish sort of grin that I'd seen a hundred times in the mirror. I made a mental note to ask Jake if my dad and my very similar looks ever creeped him out.

Although, of all the things in our relationship to get creeped out about, I doubt that one even registered with him…

"Yeah, Grandpa, apparently so."

"You'll be the smartest kid in class," he gloated proudly at me. I smiled.

"Probably."

"Definitely," Dad, Mom and Jake corrected in unison. Seth rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at me, mouthing 'nerd'. I laughed.

Now that all eyes were on me, I started talking. "Yeah, it'll be nice. Hanging out with normal kids for a change." I grinned and bumped Jake's shoulder with my own, and he adopted a mock-injured expression.

"I'm normal," he told me.

"Yeah, for an eternally twenty year old were-"

"Uh, can we not?" Grandpa's voice cut through my jibe, drowning out the last part of my sentence. He looked faintly green at the mention of the dreaded 'w' word, and I did my best to look contrite.

"Sorry, Gramps."

Mom looked amused by my slip-up, she grinned at me and shook her head, inclining her eyes towards the ceiling. "Of course, this is after Nessie goes on holiday," she told Grandpa.

"You're going on holiday?" he asked me, interested and mercifully recovered from my werewolf talk.

"Yeah, me and Jake are off to Brazil next week," I replied, perking up at the thought. Time away from my parents, where I wouldn't have to censor my thoughts, or my behaviour or… anything, really. It would be beyond awesome. "We're going to see my friend Zafrina."

"Just you two?" Grandpa checked, looking from me to Jake and back again. "And you guys are alright with that?" That question was directed to my parents. Dad gave a stiff and reluctant nod, and Mom just beamed her unbelievably beautiful smile.

"Yes, absolutely. Jacob will keep Nessie safe."

"I don't doubt that," Grandpa agreed. "You two are awful attached to each other."

I felt my face turn crimson under his scrutiny, and tried to hide behind my hair before my blush could give me away. Grandpa was totally clueless about the radical shift in my relationship with Jake, and I was sort of loathe to clue him in. He wouldn't get it.

"Putting it lightly," Seth snickered, waggling his eyebrows at us. I saw Jake throw him a _look_, and he pulled a face.

Grandpa was pretty astute, though, so he didn't miss the exchange. Damn. "Something I should know?"

"Nothing," Jake replied, a little too hastily. "This pasta is real good, Sue. You've outdone yourself."

Sue smiled a little blandly, distracted by the mounting suspicions in the room. "Oh, well, yeah, it's quite simple really…"

"Renesmee?" Grandpa cut across her, and his tone was not to be trifled with. Tentatively, I glanced up at him, blinking in what I hoped was an innocent sort of way. Sadly, he was not fooled. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," I parroted Jacob's earlier response. "Nothing's going on, Grandpa. Don't worry."

Instead of dropping the subject, he turned to my mom, beseeching her with a look. "Bells?"

"Need to know, Dad," she muttered, and miraculously, he dropped it, though he was still watching me warily.

"Anyway," I carried on, feeling my cheeks return to normal. "We leave on Monday, and we'll be away for a couple of weeks."

"Well, you kids have fun," Sue told me kindly. "I'm sure you'll love Brazil."

After that, we all went back to regularly scheduled chatting, though the slight awkwardness never fully dissipated.

* * *

**One week later...**

* * *

"Got your passport?" Mom asked for the hundredth time, enveloping me in a cool hug as we said our goodbyes in the departure lounge of Sea-Tac airport. I nodded against her shoulder, squeezing her tightly.

"Yep, still here, Mom," I replied, resisting the urge to roll my eyes at her.

"Okay, good. Have fun, honey. I love you." She pulled back and touched my face, brushing my hair aside.

"I love you, too," I told her, staring directly into her soft butterscotch eyes.

"Stay safe," Dad instructed, pulling me into a hug of his own as Mom moved to say goodbye to Jacob. "Call us when you get there."

"I will."

"Love you," he murmured in my ear.

"Love you, too," I whispered back. He drew back and smiled down at me proudly, and I couldn't help but grin in response.

"Don't get into trouble, and give our best to Zafrina," he said.

"Done and done."

I watched as Jake hitched my carry-on bag onto his shoulder along with his own, and gave my dad a cheerful parting wave. Together, we turned, and began the short walk to our departure gate. Check-in had been smooth, for once, and now…

Well, I was going on holiday! With no parents, no extended family. Just me and my Jacob.

It felt as though Christmas had come early.

Once we were well out of earshot, Jake took my hand and bent down to kiss the corner of my mouth. I felt a swell of butterflies in my stomach, and marvelled that the feeling had only intensified after a week of this. "You ready for this, Ness?"

"Holiday? Are you kidding?!" I sounded like a giddy schoolgirl in my excitement, and I felt Jake's laugh more than I heard it. "We're making a detour, though, before we actually go to the Amazon."

"We are?" Jake seemed surprised. Huh. I thought Esme would have tipped him off.

"Yeah, Esme said we could borrow her island for a few days," I winked at him, enjoying my big reveal. His mouth dropped open.

"Esme has an _island_?"

I shrugged. "Anniversary present from Carlisle one year."

"Who gives someone a fucking _island_ as an anniversary present?!"

I giggled at his total incredulity. "Rich vampires."

"Well, shit!" Jake whistled, long and low. "That's… and we can have it? For a few days?"

"Yep. It's beautiful, apparently. She told me how to get there, and I've made the arrangements."

"Without telling Bella or Edward, I'm assuming?"

"Duh."

Jake snorted. "We're going to be so dead when we get home."

I turned to face him fully, and pounced. My arms fastened around his neck, but as big and muscly as he is, he didn't even stagger under my added weight. He did drop the carry-on bags in order to catch me around the waist, though.

I threaded my fingers through his short, silky hair and pressed my lips to his insistently. I felt him smile against my mouth, before he started kissing me back, the kind of kiss that would have literally knocked me off my feet if he hadn't already been holding me in the air.

"_If_ we get back," I whispered breathily when we broke apart. I was aiming for sultry and suggestive, and by the sudden fire in his dark eyes, I knew I'd been successful. I gave myself a mental pat on the back.

It seemed strange to me that, only a week ago, I had been freaking out about kissing Jake. It seemed so stupid, now. Everything between us was easy, and natural and… indescribable.

"You going to hold me hostage?" he asked, his voice low and gravelly. I raised one eyebrow at him.

"That depends on whether you want to be there or not, Jacob Black."

"Oh, trust me, I do."

"Then it's not really a hostage situation. But I might not give you back," I threatened teasingly.

"I'll survive. Billy and the pack will never miss me."

I giggled again, filled with the heady knowledge that I had over two weeks alone with Jake to do whatever I wanted. And I could think of a few things…

"Flight 315 to Rio De Janeiro is now boarding." The tannoy call interrupted our moment, and Jake set me back on my feet with a sigh. He released my waist, but grabbed my hand again, and the pair of us began to walk towards the stewardess standing at the gate.

I didn't miss the appreciative look she threw Jacob's way when he handed over our passports, and I curled my free hand over his bicep possessively. He looked down at me, a little bemused, and I shook my head. Was he really that oblivious to how gorgeous he was?

_Yeah_, my subconscious answered for me. _Because that's the kind of guy Jake is. He's gorgeous, and funny, and smart, and brave, and loyal, and completely unaware of how amazing he is. _

I felt a rush of pride as I tacked on something else to my mental list. _And he's mine._

* * *

The flight to Brazil was long, but I napped sporadically on Jacob's shoulder. He let me sleep through the God-awful airline food, thankfully, and I was dozing peacefully, lost in a blissful dream involving me, Jake and a white sandy beach, when he gently shook me awake.

"Ness?" he whispered. I buried my head in his neck and mumbled incoherently. His chuckle sent a tremor right through me. "Ness, wake up, we're landing."

Those words were all I needed to hear to suddenly be alert and upright. "Oh, uh, okay. What time is it?"

"A little after ten."

I nodded and yanked my seat back into the upright position. My neck was annoyingly stiff – for once, I wished I was full vampire, just so I wouldn't have to suffer from muscle cramps. Then I remembered that that would also mean I couldn't sleep through flights to make the time pass, and I reconsidered. I really, really hate flying.

On landing, I gripped Jake's hand so tightly I broke his pinky. He winced, but shook it off like it was no big deal. I was still stuttering apologies as we made our way through baggage claim, but he waved me off for the umpteenth time, insisting that it had already healed, and no harm had been done. All the same, I felt totally guilty. Not exactly the romantic start I'd hoped for.

Jake was impressed by my competent Portuguese to the taxi driver, and a little bewildered when he dropped us off at the dock. I grinned at him, feeling thoroughly pleased with myself, and commandeered the speedboat that Esme had described to me. Jake insisted on driving it, which I had been a little doubtful of at first, but I needn't have worried. He knew what he was doing.

It was beyond peaceful, gliding across the balmy water with the wind whipping through my hair, and I simply sighed and laid back with my head on Jake's chest, occasionally ordering him to alter our direction. It was a lazy and convenient way to travel, way, way cooler than an airplane.

I snapped to attention again when I finally saw the island looming on the horizon. Whoa. It was just as Esme described. Better, maybe. My eyesight was as good as any full vampire's, and I could make out every leaf on the visible palms, the pristine white beach, and the house nestled into the surrounding scenery, tucked away so that you might not know it was there. The perfect desert island getaway.

"Jake, do you see it?"

"Yup." He let out another long whistle. "It's really something, huh?"

I could only nod in agreement. A clawing, nervous feeling was beginning to settle in my stomach the closer we got, and I could feel the all-too-familiar panic beginning to set in.

_Oh, God_. I concentrated on breathing in and out, fighting to keep my frantic heart under control so that Jake didn't suspect anything. _I'm so not ready for this. _

My intention had been clear this morning. I was bringing my wolf out here for the sole purpose of seducing him fully. And now… well, it was way too soon. What the hell was I thinking? Jake would probably be really hurt, and confused, and could I blame him? Talk about mixed messages.

_Too soon, too soon, too soon… _

We tied up the boat, and Jake began unloading our luggage. I told him I was going to go take a look around, desperate for something to distract my thoughts.

_Just do it, Renesmee, _I thought to myself as I paced around the living area. I still couldn't bring myself to go into the bedroom. _It's Jacob, you know you're going to be with him forever. Just get it over with, he's been waiting long enough. _

But my nerves were tearing me to shreds. It felt like I was standing on the edge of a massive skyscraper, daring myself to jump and knowing that I probably wouldn't survive the fall. This was too big a deal. It was too much. I… I didn't know what to do.

Steeling myself, I opened the door to the main bedroom. Crap. A big, inviting four-poster bed, with billowy white gossamer curtains sort of like Mom and Dad's bedroom back home. Oh. Just oh. It was beautiful, and magical, and…

And I still wanted to run screaming from the room.

_What the hell should I do?_

I had a sudden urge to ring Carmen, but she'd probably freak as bad as me if she found out that I was intending to – ahem – scrub off the shiny white 'V' stamp on my forehead.

_I really can't do this. I have to do this. No. Yes. Argh!_

"Nessie? You okay?" Jake poked his head around the door, and his eyes doubled in circumference when they took in the surroundings. "Jeez, how big is that bed?! Don't you people know how to do 'understated'?"

He sounded like his usual, joking self. Meanwhile, I was having a panic attack. Why was he always so damn composed? It just wasn't fair.

"Have you brought in all the bags?" I asked. I didn't even recognise my own voice. I sounded distant, removed. Like I was floating away from my body.

Well, I was so scared, it was like an out-of-body experience anyway.

"Yeah, they're in the hall." Jake had moved further into the room now, and when I turned to look at him, his brows were drawn low over his concerned eyes, his skin looking more gold than russet in the soft lighting. He really was beautiful. "Are you okay?"

_Now or never. _I swallowed my choking fear and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him, hard. He seemed a little uncertain at first, but gave himself over to it soon enough, his hands settling on my waist as his tongue explored my mouth.

My heart was hammering a violent tattoo against my ribs as I slid my hands down his chest, feeling his many muscles tense under my touch. He hummed low in the back of his throat, gripping my hips a little tighter, and deepened the kiss. I hesitated at the waistband of his jeans, and then, before I could change my mind, I popped the button.

Jacob stopped moving so entirely that, if I hadn't been touching his searing skin in several different places at once, I would have sworn he was a vampire. He broke our kiss, eyes wide, and stepped uncertainly back from me.

"Renesmee…"

His hands were held up like a defence, his dark eyes wary. I watched him watch me, feeling a blush creep over my cheeks – hell, my whole body – as he regarded me.

I dropped my gaze, biting down on my bottom lip. The tension in the room was palpable. You could cut it with a knife.

"I… uh…" I mumbled, staring fixatedly at my shoes.

"Nessie, what's going on?" Jake's voice was gentle, but still a little guarded. I felt embarrassed tears burn in my eyes, but I kept them from falling by sheer willpower alone. "Look at me. Please."

Unable to meet his gaze, I just shook my head, my curls bouncing with the movement.

"Sorry," I muttered, and I was mortified to be able to hear the lump in my throat. What the hell was wrong with me? I'd been scared shitless about doing 'it', but now I felt, what, rejected? Humiliated? Unwanted?

All of the above.

"Sorry? Ness, what the hell are you sorry for? I… you just… I mean, you took me by surprise… we've never even talked about…" Jacob trailed off, seeming at a loss for anything else to say.

"I know. It was stupid, okay?" The first tear slipped out before I could stop it, and the second followed in quick succession. I heard Jacob's startled gasp, and then he was suddenly on his knees in front of me, one hand on either side of my face, angling me so that I was forced to look into his eyes. He was a head shorter than me from this vantage point, and slightly blurry in my tear-filled vision.

"Don't cry, Ness. Please don't cry, I hate it when you cry." He sounded anguished. I sniffed slightly, struggling to control the tears. "I'm sorry. It's not stupid, it's just…"

"You don't want to. I get it," I shrugged, aiming for nonchalant but failing miserably considering the tears streaming down my face. "It's okay."

"No, it's not. It's not okay. Renesmee, I… Of course I want you. I'll never want anything but you. And if you think I don't want to have sex with you, then… well, frankly, you're mental, but not right now. This is all so new, and I don't want us to rush into anything. Hell, I've waited twenty four years, a few more months aren't gonna kill me." Jake shrugged, giving me his patented goofy grin. "It's nothing to get upset about. You've been properly grown up for, what, two weeks? I know you seem to do everything much faster than everyone else, but this is a bit fast, even for you."

I blinked at him through my tear-logged lashes. "So, this isn't you rejecting me?"

Jacob laughed. He actually threw his head back and laughed, as though the very idea of it was completely absurd. Bizarrely, even though he was laughing at me, it made me feel a lot better. "I love you, but for a smart girl, you really are pretty dense sometimes. I. Will. Never. Reject. You."

My breathing stopped, and suddenly the air seemed to vanish from the room. The world started to spin around me, and my heart swelled so fast and so much that I thought I might explode. "What… what did you say?"

Jacob frowned at me. "I won't reject you? Jeez, Ness, how many times do you want me to repeat it?"

"No, before that," I whispered quietly. "You said… 'I love you'."

Jake's eyes widened, and he sucked in air sharply. "Don't freak out."

"You mean it?"

He smiled. A real, shy smile that I'd never seen before. It lit up his whole face like pure sunlight. My heart stopped. "Yeah, I mean it. I love you, Renesmee Carlie Cullen. Always will."

I raised my fingertips tentatively and touched his cheek, feeling the contrast between his soft, smooth skin and the rough bristles of his overnight stubble. There was a new reverence to his expression, one which I'm sure, if I had a mirror, would be reflected in my own. I thought I might faint.

"I love you, Jacob Black," I admitted, surprised at how sure I sounded saying the unfamiliar words. This was a Big Deal. A way bigger deal than my original plan for the evening.

But it was a hundred percent the truth, and I felt an unexpected surge of relief at getting it off my chest. It was like I had been dying to say it for months, and I'd only just figured it out.

Jacob's smile was so bright he could power a small city with it. In a heartbeat, he had risen from the floor and pulled me with him, swinging me round once, full-circle, before kissing me chastely on the mouth.

My earlier embarrassment forgotten, I walked with trembling knees over to the edge of the bed and sank down onto the mattress. It was sublimely comfy, and I found myself sprawling out over it, one arm still hugging myself in barely contained glee.

_I love you, Renesmee Carlie Cullen._ That's what he'd said. He told me he loved me. He loved me! I felt like I could fly.

Jake's weight made the mattress dip, and he flopped back next to me, still smiling this new, shy smile that made my heart melt like an ice-cream in mid July. He groaned appreciatively as he stretched his back out.

"Damn, this bed is comfy!" he sighed, and I giggled. I'd been thinking the same thing five seconds previously.

_Soul mates,_ the voice in my head sang smugly, and I couldn't help but agree with her, for once. Instead of responding in any way, though, I just shuffled over to my side and curled myself around Jacob's warm body. I pressed my cheek into his chest, just below his sternum, and all I could hear was the ebb and flow of the tide and the strong, steady beats of his heart. His heart that was mine. His hand went into my hair instinctively, his fingers tangling through my curls, and we were lost in a moment.

It was radically different from what I'd been expecting, but as I lay there that first night on Isle Esme, I realised it was more than I had ever hoped for. With Jake's hand stroking my hair, basking in his woodsy scent, I closed my eyes.

And I was out like a light.

* * *

_**A/N: More Isle Esme next, from Jake's POV. Plus, Zafrina and the Amazons. **_

_**Thanks for reading, guys!**_

_**PJ **_

_**x**_


End file.
